Stream of consciousness

I should ask Alexa for instructions on how to give myself a bikini wax.

Or search Google on  how to perform my own root canal.

Maybe do some research on what kind of diet would be conducive for the  passing  of excruciating kidney stones?

I must be a masochist.

Why else, on a night that I knew we  had the last two remaining episodes of "Maid" to watch, would I spend the afternoon binge watching "Scenes From A Marriage?"

The latter makes the former look like "Mary Poppins."

The former is gut wrenching, the latter cuts open that gut and fries it up with some root vegetables, serving it to you on a silver platter.

"Scenes From a Marriage" was brutal, as was the recent movie it's being compared to, "Marriage Story."

Do people in grown-up marriages like that fight only about booze and infidelity?

I guess the stuff that Jim and I squabble about(me leaving too many lights on, him cluttering the hallway with shoes) would not make for titillating Netflix fare.

There were things I LOVED about "Scenes From a Marriage"--how episodes began with the actors awaiting the slate and the director's call to "Action!" as we viewers  got an inside look at carpenters and painters and assistants prepping the set, all wearing masks to boot.

The acting by the principles was excellent too, but their on again, off again relationship status was as unnerving as the overhead light controlled by the dimmer switch that flickers and dies and revives itself without a good reason.

  Either die light, or stay on. Don't keep messing with me like this.

It was nice to see the hottie from "Shtisel" play such an important, albeit minor, role in the series, but it was a really depressing, disturbing overall viewing experience..

Maid" was too, but "Maid" makes me want to send money to shelters, where "Scenes From a Marriage" just made me relieved that I'm so dorky and unpretentious, and our marital fights revolve around snoring or leaving only  one sheet of toilet paper on the cardboard core.

Between spending all day with that often loathsome married couple and all night with the down-on-her luck Margaret Qualley, I was eagerly awaiting some comic relief.

Which I got, when I saw Sarah Paulsen's brilliant reaction as Linda Tripp, seeing John Goodman's horribly unflattering portrayal of her (in an SNL sketch) in tonight's installment of "Impeachment."

David Sedaris and an evening of normalcy.

Sometimes, 2021 feels like it couldn't feel more 2020-ish if it had cue cards and a coach, other times, you have those nights that will make your top five when you're having dinner with your spouse on New Year's Eve, talking about the most memorable evenings of the year.

Last night was the latter, a perfect night of comfort food(nothing defines it more than a hearty bowl of beef stew) and a wonderful show.

We hadn't been to live theater in Red Bank in..forever.  The last two times we were there, we saw a fabulous show(Randy Rainbow) and a few months later, a dreadful one, a "Sex and the City" satire that was so god-awful that we poor schmucks who bought tickets didn't even get a Playbill, or an explanation about why the untalented guy who played Miranda Hobbs forgot to put his red wig back on for the second act.

I missed this theater and the "flusher usher" the wise-cracking restroom attendant who was as talented as anyone you'd see on stage, who'd name each individual stall.  (For Randy Rainbow, I peed in "Omarosa!", a parody of "Oklahoma!", and for the awful show, I did my business in "Miranda".)

The flusher-usher wasn't there, but the evening was still a great one.

And Red Bank came to life with the closing of its main thoroughfare, the town bustled with outdoor diners and a palpable joy and so many beautiful lights.

In May, as soon as the mask mandate was lifted, I planned four  exciting events...a long awaited family reunion in Woodloch(which happened in July, and even 'though masks weren't required, there were still signs of the pandemic's wrath, mostly in some activities and amenities being compromised) a long awaited pool party/reunion in August(only one couple showed up) an anniversary celebration(to occur next month so the jury is still out) and..tickets to hear my favorite essayists speak.

I was still looking forward to seeing David Sedaris, who did not disappoint, but was dreading the  ninety-something minutes in a mask, but as soon as I presented my card that showed I'm triple vaxxed, I presented my smile..because masks..were not required!!

I could breathe..and I could laugh, and I did a lot of both.

He went over a lot of material I've read before, a lot of his essays are hard to forget, but he covered a lot of new ground too, especially with the impromptu Q and A session following his act.

He was so raw and so real while covering the troubled relationship he had with his father, Lou Sedaris, (which I always hear as "Lucid Heiress")

Leave it to him to make death and dying and funerals into a hilarious bit.

I knew all about this guy from all the books, so I guess it was not a surprise to think of his newspaper obituary that probably read something like, "he  had six children and a grandchild"

ONE grandchild??  And you live to be NINETY-EIGHT??

That says something, doesn't it?

If you're not familiar with David Sedaris's humor, go treat yourself to a few of his books that stayed on the NY Times best seller list for months.

What can you say about a genuis who buys his family a vacation home in North Carolina and chooses to name it the "C-section?"

You can say he's a laugh a minute, the kind of witty essayist you can only dream of being one day.

The perfect night was topped off by creamy gelato(I highly recommend the cherry ice with vanilla ice cream) and the latest episode of "The Morning Show", which   is still worth streaming, even 'though the second season isn't quite measuring up to the one before it.

And on this dreary morning, with Luke at the groomer, we will watch the last "Ted Lasso" with no distraction.

Congrats, 2021..sometimes you actually deliver the goods