A menu of entertainment

Good morning, fellow foodies and pop culture fanatics, let's talk, but not with our mouths full because we are all well-mannered.

Actually, I'm not going to describe or photograph MEALS because nothing will top Thursday's banquet, and YOU'VE all already  had and photographed everything I'VE consumed, so now you can start the countdown with me..only 361 days 'til t-day!

Let's devour what we've consumed thus far on the big screen instead .

We'll start with appetizers and open the menu to describe..

"The Menu."

I have absolutely no idea how I feel about it. I went to see it because of the Oscar buzz, knowing well in advance it was going to be gory and bloody, but as a fan of "Sweeney Todd"..that would not have prevented me from digging in.

I loved that the theme centered around courses, but guests were plated up with things that looked like sea conches decorated with  with neon-hued squeezes from a toothpaste tube, so that didn't do it for me.

 Props  to the prop master for creating these visual masterpieces.

Minor spoiler alert:  If you see this movie before dining out, unless you are vegan, you will absolutely positively be ordering a cheeseburger.

 It will be nearly impossible not to...even if it's an impossible burger.

I liked watching the malevolent Ralph Fiennes as the demented chef unfolding before our very eyes, but again..not quite sure if I liked this black comedy or not.

Next up:  Main course.  

You can go to Steven Spielberg's Wikipedia page and  become fully sated, but I recommend that you see the autobiographical "The Fabelmans" anyway.

I loved it..even more than Jim did. We had just recently seen "Armageddon Time" with a similar theme that explored anti-semitism in a coming of age tale told from the perspective of a gifted youth, but this was the better movie and will mostly likely win Spielberg his third statuette. 

Be on the lookout  for an Oscar nomination for Judd Hirsch, his first since 1980 when he played Timothy Hutton's shrink in "Ordinary People."

I wasn't looking at my phone, but it seems to me he was on screen for about as long as Judi Dench was in "Shakespeare in Love"--meaning briefly--but she still got the gold and so will he in a knockout performance as young Sammy's great uncle Boris.

Brush up on your Yiddish before you go if possible. Don't mind my mishegos--you'll get the gist of it either way, like you just did after reading this sentence.

As a fan of Jewish culture and movies and nerdy kids, this was one of the best films of the year.

Dessert will be   on a smaller screen, but we know it'll be wickedly delicious and worth every calorie as we watch the latest thing the vile guests of "The White Lotus" serve up.

 It's fabulous--as entertaining as the first season--and even if you binge all of it in a single sitting, you're not going to want to throw up.

Unless you do

She said

What a day to be a feminist, said she, said me, as we type this without a bra, without makeup, and without a misogynistic husband who, if he notices these things, doesn't say a word about them.

The day started off on a very high note,  as we finished the six part series on Netflix called "The Girls at the Back" which is absolutely marvelous.

There's a big feminist element, naturally, and lots of female bonding, and a  beautiful seaside settings in Cardiz, Spain.  

Think "Sex and the City" but with less emphasis on vanity necklaces and more poop talk. 

And just like that, everyone will be comparing these shows, and as much as I'm a fan of the aforementioned franchise,  the European version knocked my socks off.

It's "SATC" with a bucket list and a who-dunnit, or more specifically, a "who is it?"

This is not a spoiler alert, as the opening scenes show all five women shaving their heads in solidarity, to honor the friend among them who has recently been diagnosed with cancer, but the c-word is forbidden to be discussed during their getaway, so we have no idea who is about to have the life-changing chemotherapy that will potentially have an effect on all of them. 

 (Note:  Jim and I both guessed incorrectly)

It's poignant and funny and so, so smart.. Everything is dubbed in English, but there're also subtitles.

I just love that the women talk so openly about real stuff.  There's not a small talker among them.  Nobody talks about returning tea towels to Target, or chauffeuring a great aunt to the dermatologist, or  having a shortage of folding chairs at their last gathering.  (Yeah..I hear all of this inane  crap, all of the time)

There women are vulgar and raw and so damn likable..even when they're kind of pathetic.

It's a wonderful show in a breath-taking setting.  I want to be invited on their next trip, if only I were as cool as them.

I'm on a feminist high already, and then we went to see "She Said" and I felt like I was literally going to shatter a glass ceiling.

This is a terrific movie--think "All the Presidents Men" or "Spotlight"..it's THAT good, and even 'though all the gross and sordid details about Harvey Weinstein's life are still fresh in my memory, it was sheer joy to see these bad-assed reporters take him down.

I felt so proud to be female: to be a feminist: to have a degree in Journalism, 'though I'm hardly an investigative reporter who gives criminals who head companies their due..

I interview people and ask  questions like, "come on..I'm trying to write a song for your Mom's eightieth birthday..surely you can give me a little more than "she likes her family??" and they add something like, "well..she REALLY likes her family..and she puts fresh pineapples on her ham" and I think, "yep..I'll work with that" and  then I write several original lyrics to a song from "Oklahoma!" and call it a day.

But I wish I could do the kind of work that the journalists played by Zoe Kazan and Carey Mulligan did in this movie.

Let's hear it for my fellow women. 

I'm about to burn one of those bras I never wear...or  I'll vow to not shave my legs for a month.

Nah..I won't.

I just had a very very satisfying day with my screen choices.

I enjoy being a girl..a not too girly-girly girl.

You can tell everyone.. this is your birthday..

Happy birthday to Jim Amster, the biggest Elton fan I know, who gets a birthday song today. 

... You can tell everybody this is your song..because it is.

Verse

You're a little bit funny..when you want to be...

silly with most folks but you're..clever 'round me..

so quick and observant..smarter than a whip..

you grab the remote and..you dial flip

You're feeling your age now..a young sixty-eight

you could be on stage now.if you..could  stay up late:)

you'd handle that mic like..a real techie pro!

I know I would pay for.."The Jim Amster Show"

Chorus:

and you could tell everybody..

this is your year..

with friends and with family...

still strong with career..

I hope you don't mind..I hope you don't mind..

that I tease you death...

I'll keep all our secrets..like when you.."call Beth"

Verse:

When you're in a quandary..you seek my advice

you'll help with the laundry, and Jim..that's kinda nice

I didn't have much money but..thank God..you did!

You made a great life for..us..(and our kid!)

I can't understand you..your midwestern speak..

calls out for subtitles but your..words are unique..

you're such a great father to our..son and our dog..

It's never a bother when you..edit my blog!

Chorus:

And you can tell everybody..this is your song..

It didn't cost a dime but..is that so wrong?

I hope you don't mind..I hope you don't mind..

that I spilled everything..

in this little ditty.(.that no one can sing??!!)

Verse:

The news makes you crazy...Trump makes you beserk

sometimes you get lazy if ..some.. house things don't work

some times you're depressing..when you close your ears..

That's 'cause I'm  obsessing... for what seems like years..

Sometimes you're too honest..you're borderline blunt..

but nobody's better in a..scavenger hunt

With shoes in the hallway..the sink overflows..

you honk like a goose when..you blow your nose..

Chorus:

But I will tell everybody..these are your flaws..

and they aren't a big deal Jim..and..that is because..

I hope you don't mind..I hope you don't mind..

that I put this on line..

today is your birthday..and I'm glad you're mine..🙂

I hope you don't mind..I hope you don't mind..

when I say "glad we're wed!"

Can't wait for December..when we're in  Club Med!

Happy birthday!

'

Election serenade

I woke up, inspired to write this parody of "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" (aka "Camp Grenada")

Verse:

Let's go Georgia..please, Nevada

do the right thing..'cause you gotta!

for our country! For our nation!

(There are worse things than a GLOBAL-WIDE inflation!)

If there're runoffs..act the smarty

vote for freedom..not for party

see the margin's..awfully slimmin'

vote the right way!  Save democracy! Save women!

Keystone voters..chose the better man

ditched the quack doc..and chose Fetterman

Peach State voters?? Skip commercials..

if they make you think there's decency in Herschel's..

Sunshine Staters!!??? Fools of Texas!!???

You have dissed us..You perplex us..

You chose poorly..with each fellow

You chose Abbott and that other clown, Costello

Chorus:

Yes..okay..it's Ron DeSantis

hope he "gets lost".(.like Atlantis)

Yes..I'm MEAN..but..for goodness sakes..

our democracy is now at stake!

Chorus:

Thanks, each Daddy, Mommy

who.. staved off.. a red tsunami

I'm a lifelong Democrat--

there is simply nothing wrong with that

Final verse:

If you read this..thanks for voting

this is not the..time for gloating

must stay vigil..must be guarded

it's our future..and our kids are getting started..

Lost the House but..not the Senate(???)

Thanks for voting..Michael Bennett!

Seems like hope has..finally risen..

(It will rise a whole lot more when Trump's in prison)

KLA,11/9/22

The latest political trend.. bra-less voting

Jim said if I didn't feel like driving myself to the polling place(which I didn't) that I could go with him, but we needed to leave immediately.

I get into the car and tell him that my hair was still wet and I wasn't wearing a bra.

He quipped:  "You're not wearing a bra?  Then you can't vote"

I respond:  "You don't know how accurate that is in some countries, where what a woman wears or does not wear determines if she can vote or not."

We arrive at the fire station and he gives his name, and I thought one of the poll workers was yanking his chain when he asked, "Jim Amster??  Not THE Jim Amster, are you?"

Turns out it was a friend from graduate school..they both went to Stanford.

He then said, "small world..come get your ticket to enter the booth.  Your wife cannot vote without a bra"

(OK..he didn't.  I'm just trying to make dumb jokes to mask my fear of a red tidal wave)

The 33rd at 618

Fabulous, fabulous,  Freehold, New Jersey!

The town of holiday decorations lighting up the picturesque Main Street.

The town of Springsteen sightings.

The town where I labored for what seems like weeks in a pristine hospital room before having a c-section in the summer of 1995.

It's a funny(and slightly gross!) detail as I tell this aside, when my OB/GYN was examining me earlier in the summer, saying, "I wouldn't be surprised if we wind up giving you a C-section..you're pretty tight" to me looking him straight in the eye and asking, "oh yeah..then why wasn't I more popular in college?"

OK Karen..stop being such a Karen and get back on track here.

We started the day off with a pleasant matinee, "Armageddon Time" which I liked a little more than Jim did. It was like last year's Oscar-nominated "Belfast" as it took place  in the same  era and  it was narrated by a middle school aged boy, but the former was the better film.

We spent the next few hours at home, acknowledging all the wonderful and sincere anniversary wishes, before heading out to  restaurant "618" in Freehold, which should give this town as much pride as  knowing it's the birthplace of the Boss.

True, when we were asked earlier in the week if we were celebrating anything special, we did tell them it was our anniversary, but wow!!

  Did they ever pull out all the stops!!

I regret not saying it was my coronation..that I was being named the new Queen of England.

We can't thank the Steven Levson family enough for the gift card, but the minute we entered the palace, we were indeed treated like royalty.

We were escorted to a private room with other VIPS celebrating other occasions, where we  were seated at a table beautifully decorated with linen napkins shaped like  roses.

But that's not all!

We were given ginzu knives, that sliced and diced and julienned and..

nah..we weren't.  Just wanted to see who is still following this.

But that's not all!

We were given a beautiful hand written card, and champagne in fluted glasses trimmed with strawberries, and service that was worthy of something you'd fine on an upscale cruise ship.

We shared a crab cake appetizer, followed by something that sounded like something we wouldn't order when out fabulous server April first described it, but the kale salad(yes, I said kale salad!) was delectable.  I think she said they soften the kale with a curling iron or something, but it was tasty and perfectly seasoned

Jim's fish was tender and fresh, my filet mignon made me want to speak french for the rest of the evening.

And the dessert was the perfect ending to this deliciously sweet celebration:  Homemade ice cream sandwiches with a nutella dipping sauce.

We usually celebrate our anniversary on some tropical island, but this acknowledgement  was equally lovely, and we didn't even need to apply bug spray as we ventured outside.

Tonight, it's more screen time, with a weird little movie by a Yankovich named Al.

I'm a lucky gal indeed...

“And you can tell everybody..”

"And you can tell everybody..this is your post"

The very gentile house band at Rosewood Caterers covered your favorite, Sir Elton John, a lot better than they covered "Hava Nagilla"..but what a day it was, thirty three years ago today..

We danced, we laughed, we cried, we wrote our own vows where you randomly slipped in a "St. Elsewhere" reference, but we knew the journey was just beginning, followed by the honeymoon the next day at Pat's Steaks(after dropping your parents off at the airport) and then heading to Sandals in Jamaica, where the staffer in charge of boats made me believe I'd be a widowed bride as he looked at you on the horizon, shaking his head and uttering, "Mon..he's no sailor!"

Or Part Two of that honeymoon, Disneyworld, where we were awoken at dawn to say the tire from our rental car had been stolen.

What a Mickey Mouse operation.

Ah..those memories!

Of our ring bearer Scott, now a father himself, eyeing that three tiered wedding cake with a cartoon bubble that read, "it's going to be a one-tiered cake before the night is over."

How about when local TV star, Dorie Lenz, interviewed our guests like the pro she was! ?? I hadn't worked  for Channel 17 in years, but I was so excited that she came to our wedding!

I was so proud to wear that off-the rack, $79.00 dollar dress from JC Penneys, so proud that cutting costs on the gown justified inviting 10 more people--co-workers I'd never see again--but that's not the point.

Yeah, maybe that gown looked a little like a shiny Halloween costume, but it was ME, and in the expensive borrow veil, I made a presentable bride, even with the lipstick stain left by Jeanette on that ridiculously puffy sleeve.  

(I could only give you a "song".and Jeanette did wonders with my custom lyrics..but she did stain that dress when I thanked her!)

The lipstick stain is hidden along with my runny mascara, as you heard me say in the video, "Daddy's with us, Steven!" but so grateful anyway that my big brother could proudly walk me down the aisle.  

Oh..the memories!  Your Mom complaining that the chicken was tough, and telling the videographer that she "said everything she was going to say."

You looking so handsome in your tux..with a perm that you never got again. (thank goodness)

It's chilling to go through the wedding album now, seeing that so many guests are no longer with us,,tables and tables of guests who were there to celebrate our special day.

Enough taxing my memory bank...for now.

I'm just glad we're celebrating our 33rd, and that I've shared this adventure with you, through thick and thin(well..never THIN on my end) that we survived the loss of parents and pets and even our minds sometimes.

I'm blessed to have found the lid to my pot.

Well..more like the lid you have to cram onto the empty plastic soup or chinese takeout container, jammed in with all the other orphaned tupperware, but hey, it's OUR drawer--a mess we created together.

I wouldn't have it any other way.