Id like to thank uranium for existing..

Seriously???  It's STILL January???

Here's an idea for your upcoming Oscar party in March:

Have the most artistic guest sketch a caricature of all twenty nominees in the acting categories, with cartoon bubbles on every drawing. Hand the sketches out to each guest, face down, and have them write a would-be acceptance speech.  (The unlikier the win; the funnier the cartoon bubble will be) Once the speech in the  bubble is complete, hang the drawings up(hopefully before the show starts) and compare notes.

You can also tell all your guests to come in costume, but that means you'll be seeing a lot of Barbies.

Also:  Have everyone bring a covered dish with a theme around a nominated film, like "The Hold-over Easy Eggs", or "The Cal-Zone of Interest" or Shrimp on the "Barbie" or even "Maestroganoff" served with Carey Mulligan Stew. 

How about "Past-a Lives?"

(I could do this all day)

I miss those Oscars parties with my friends from Philly!

A Caribbean amphibian

Started my first brain exercise by jumping ahead a little(this one was supposed to be written in mid-February) and with a rule-breaker that will be explained. 

 (And no, I'm not going to share these entries daily..but this one was a FUN challenge)

The prompt was:  "Write a Haiku About a Frog"

What I wrote was:

She once traveled to the Caribbean

to "pick up" and kiss an amphibian

He turned into a prince.

and  what's happened since?

is he married that gold-digging Libyan!''

(This cheater didn't write a haiku)

She is off by  a meter(or two)

She lack the ambition

to define definitions..

so this LIMERICK..will just have to do...

Holy cow.. what a birthday..

There are birthday celebrations and there are BIRTHDAY celebrations, and today's celebration took the cake..the sweet, delectable, ice cream cake.

Even rinsing and spitting at the dentist..(well, not the dentist per se..at his spittoon!) wasn't going to ruin this day of love and celebration.

I usually don't fish for compliments, but if I DID, I'd want to keep 'em coming like the ones that were fished  in the pond today.

Really?

You think I'm funny?  In what way?  In a Joe Pesci "Goodfellas" way?

Clever?  Talented? Hot as hell?

My ego grew to the size of my jiggly belly, and I couldn't be prouder of either .

After a day of bathing in pure love, the evening started off with some wonderful, custom picked gifts from my fabulous son and his ultra fabulous Michelle. It's like giving a Peloton to a fitness freak, this outstanding gift that will give me the brain exercises I crave daily.  It truly was one of the best gifts of my lifetime..not counting the birth of Evan, and/or his good fortune on a dating app that led him to this special lady.

The book, by Emma Bastow, is called "A Writer's Year" and the blank pages offer such diverse challenges as "write a Haiku about a frog" and "a stranger insults you..what do you say to them?"  (I haven't written the answer yet, but I guarantee it's going to center around a frog haiku)  

What a gift!  Accompanied by body lotions and creams with my favorite scents, and a Scrabble calendar filled with puzzles, and personal, heart felt cards that I'm bringing with me to eternity.

As if THAT weren't enough(OMG, I am SO BLESSED!!) we had wonderful Thai food, with iced tea that tasted like the Yoo Hoos one craved as a kid, and fresh salad with peanut sauce, and soup that was too good for words.  (No..not alphabet soup, you corny dingbat..Thai soup! Delicious, delectable, savory soup, served in an elegant setting by a waitstaff who clearly loves their jobs.)

As though THAT weren't enough, Jim managed to get great seats to see the hilarious Craig Ferguson, and even 'though his Scottish accent could be strong at times, the vibe in the sold out show was infectious: the laughter, contagious.

As 'though THAT weren't enough, we came back here for  dessert and more laughs, playing "Telestrations" where I sketched a pretty good drawing of "Holy Cow"  that was interpreted as "religious cat" and then to “rabbi cat” by the time my original creation made all the rounds.

What's better than hilarious company, wonderful cuisine, top of the line entertainment, and  enough love to end global wars?

Nothing, I tell you..nothing beats that.

As always, I'm going to end with a thank you song to all of you who reached out on my special day, sung, ironically, to the tune of:  "My Favorite Things"

Some of you clicked on a Facebook reminder..

Some of you hand-picked great words for my binder..

If you didn't write any personal stuff..

it's quite all right.."happy birthday's!" enough...

It doesn't matter..it's MY celebration!

EVERY thought flatters! (with good punctuation)

Cartoons and clip art..each personal meme..

Made me elated!  Or so it would seem!

Sixty eight??!!  WOW!!

Let me state now..

I'll accept..'m old...:)

I'd be more okay if this damn winter day..just weren't so freakin' cold!!

Thanks again for an unforgettable birthday!

My pearly white birthday

Wow!  I've only been up an hour and all these birthday acknowledgements are putting a huge smile on my face. 

 A smile that'll still be here an hour from now, accompanied by rinsing and spitting... 'cause I made a dentist appointment... on purpose, to celebrate that I still have my original pearly whites at my advanced age. 

 Loving all the love, the acknowledgements, a slew of  snail-mail cards, ("without the cash, they're autographed trash!") doesn't  necessarily apply  here, 'cause I'll save as many as I can... until the next purge/cabinet tidying.

What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? 

 I'm kind of a bitch..

..aren't I???

She was “Robb-ied”!

Let's talk streaming!

"Fellow Travelers" is available now on Paramount Plus, offered by Showtime as well. 

 It is a terrific look back at several decades, starting with McCarthyism through the displaying of the AIDS quilt, as seen through the eyes of the two lead characters  whose lives and loves were forbidden until they weren't.  It's a great history lesson with riveting performances.

Let's talk Oscars!

This batch of nominees is much more exciting than last year's, but the front runner is still close to the bottom of my personal  list like it was at this time a year ago.

 I liked "Oppenheimer" a lot more than the bizarre "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once" (the multiple nominations for that one bewilder me to this day) but there are so many contenders I like more, and we've seen them all except for "The Zone of Interest" which we're seeing this weekend.

Late night comics and internet memes are having a field day with the exclusion of so many deserved nominations for "Barbie",specifically  the iconic performance from Margot, (she was Robbied!) and the direction from Greta Garbo, who turned a plastic doll from the 50's into a feminist heroine.  

(Who can forget those ads from the early 60's, with the "catchy" slogan, "if it's made from Mattel--it's swell!"  A copywriter got paid for THAT??  A jingle writer could afford a down payment on their dream house with the highly recognizable. "Barbie..you're beautiful!  Here's what we mean..someday, you'll be a fashion queen!")

Really????

I have issues with many parts of that tune, including the "someday" part, since little girls spent more money on clothes for a doll than my parents spent on my bat mitzvah dress.  And..with those painted cat eyes and kinky short  blond bangs and tight lips that gave her an expression that belong on the face of a serial killer, she was not what I'd call "beautiful."

The popular meme is saying that giving a nomination to the male character, Ryan Gosling's Ken, while excluding Robbie's Barbie, was literally the plot of the movie. 

I'm not sure about that, because there was that unexpected nod to America Ferrera for basically one monologue that she oversold.  I LOVE America..(the actress and the country, so don't get me started on what happened in New Hampshire) but Oscar watchers think that spot should have gone to Rosamund Pike or Penelope Cruz or even Taraji P. Henson.

THAT monologue got her the  Oscar shout out(where was all the Emmy love for America in "Superstore", one of my favorite sitcoms of all time?) and it truly is unforgettable, focusing on how women are supposed to be..to look..to think..to act.

Can you imagine if all plastic or inanimate objects could suddenly come to life and be given a platform?

Would our vanity tables slap the faces we were trying to make up, telling us we're just fine without all that paint? Getting rid of vanity would be a certain death for the mirrored table, but worth it, right?

Would our plastic  combs say, "all this "teasing" is a form of bullying!".. "cut it all off if you're going to put my teeth through that crap every day!"?

Would our bathroom scales beg for a vacation?  

"Stop it and stop it now!" they'd say.  "You ate an entire sleeve of thin mints yesterday, of COURSE I'm gonna  offer numerical evidence  that you did just that.  Lay off of me for a few weeks.  I'm exhausted. I'm sick of being the villainess here.  I'm tired..."

Yes, your bathroom scale is tired from all that unwanted daily  attention.

Tried. Bored. Jaded.

Now I'll ask you to keep that mental image of that "jaded scale."

You wanna know why?

"Jaded Scale" is the perfect mnemonic for remembering the names of all ten women nominated for Best Actress in a lead or supporting role this year.

Let's hear it for Jodie! America! Da'Vine! Emily! Danielle!..

Hats off and bras off for Sandra! Carey! Annette! Lily! Emma!

Kudos to the "Jaded Scale"..something I hope you'll remember next time you feel guilt over ordering those larger fries.

Or... if you just want an easy way to remember this year's crop of talented, deserving  actresses.

The Wright stuff

Move over, "The Holdovers"..Yours Truly  is crowning a new champion for her favorite movie of the year.

I am totally in awe from  the performances, direction, and most of all, SCREENPLAY, for "American Fiction."  

And I desperately  want Jeffrey Wright to win Best Actor. 

 He won't, of course, but it would be the... right.. way to go.

Okay, maybe Bradley Cooper IS due for a career Oscar for "Maestro" and maybe Cillian Murphy IS a shoo in for the statuette(despite what I thought was a forgettable performance in a long, overdrawn movie) but Wright's performance was the best of the year--perhaps of several years--in my humble, essentially worthless opinion. 

 He came across as a younger, darker Larry David (in "Curb") but with more heart and soul. A Larry with  humanity. 

I LOVE movies that make you think and make you laugh and make you discuss it for hours after seeing it.

 This "This is US" fan was blown away by the performance of Sterling K. Brown in a supportive role, a character who couldn't be more opposite of Randal Pearson if he tried. A sterling performance indeed, and I hope he knocks another sure thing out of the running, especially the young actor from "May December" who will  have other shots, who wasn't even in the same ballpark at Sterling.

I'm very happy to be an Oscar Mayer  Watcher this weekend...all that's left is "Zone of Interest" and "All of Us Strangers" and long shot, "Origin."

We also saw the terrific musical adaptation of "Mean Girls" yesterday and I was kicking myself for not saving anything special for my birthday(in two weeks) but my brilliant and wonderful husband found us four tickets to the sold-out performance of Craig Ferguson's one man show, playing that night locally.

It was disheartening to see "American Fiction" in a nearly empty theater and I guess the movie isn't for everyone, but it IS for everyone who loves wit, and character development, and first rate acting, and controversy, and..a million other ands.

I loved this movie as much as I loved all those "What Do You Want to Eat, Levi?" videos that I've been sharing ad nauseam on my feed for the last several days, and that's saying a lot.

Jeffrey Wright's character may not have been an adorable, precocious two year old with a great vocab and a great chef he is lucky enough to call his  Dad and a masterful use of sterling silver, but he sure had the Wright stuff for me.

LOVED..LOVED..LOVED..this movie!!

Coping with a human tragedy

I don't care how freezing I am in that hollowed out fuselage, I'm not eating any of you.

(Except for You.  Yeah, You. YOU'D be good with some Sweet Chili Sauce and a grain of salt.)

That comment didn't come out of thin air. 

We saw "Society of the Snow" last night, about the 1972 plane crash in the Andes, where members of the  Uruguay rugby team had no choice but to resort to cannibalism while trying to survive the literal thin air.

The movie was disturbing but very well done.

 (Which isn't gonna fly for those who prefer their elbows and kneecaps " medium rare")

I bet some fellow passengers were more tender and easier to cut than the steak I had in Mexico last month, the one Lisa from Temecula herself couldn't slice with a sharpened hacksaw.

OK..I'm already gagging from this recap, so let's talk Golden Globes.

Predictions are all over the map for tonight's telecast, aren't they?

 I'm an avid Oscar watcher, and even I don't see a front runner for the Academy Award.

The only shoo in seems to be Da'Vine Joy Randolph for her excellent work in my favorite movie of the year, "The Holdovers."

Does anyone have any predictions?

"Society of the Snow" won't get much award love, sadly.

It's premise left too many people out in the cold.

A tribute to 2023

Goodbye, 2023, you nasty little bitch.

(Globally.  You've been very mean when it comes to international  events, but I have to admit, kind of  nice to me on a personal level)

It's been  the year of.. reflection!

(Yeah, mirror..I SEE you!  Wanna make something of it?  The solution is..NOT a re-solution, I promise you that)

It's been  the year of.. inspection!

(Yeah Jim..you CAN  toss out the Sports Illustrated issue from 2008.  I love all this purging and beautifying the house, but I love it more when you do all the labor and I just veg and bark orders)

It's been  the year of.. connections!

(But screw you, NY Times!  Don't make me crazy by demanding I name ONLY four weekdays when you clearly  offer FIVE, and then force me to use brain power to decide "Wednesday" is not just a week day but an Addams family character)

It's been  a year of great connections outside-of-that-puzzle-box  too. 

After eighteen long years, we returned to the special place where we  first realized we'd be each others ride or die forever--Ogunquit, Maine.  We hadn't seen our terrific cousins Reid and Joni in over seven  years, but they showed us that fun adult company goes beyond sharing small plates and small talk--it's not even their home state yet they planned an exciting and memorable itinerary.

It was another year of family connections in Woodloch, when we all came to the conclusion that my six year old great nephew was more hilarious than any comic who gets paid to perform in the nightclub.

It was connecting to Elvis fans in Graceland, and even 'though we had  never personally crowned the King, we loved our  American River Cruise that started in Memphis. ..and lived vicariously through his super fans.

It was  reconnecting in Cancun, beautifully decorated for the holidays, filled with blog-worthy special moments, and daily cursing at those uncooperative weather gods.

It's  been connecting to wonderful comics that we love, like Jim Gaffigan and Colin Mocherie/Brad Sherwood and lots more entertaining nights in local theaters.

It's been  connecting to movie fans, as there was so much greatness on the silver screen this year, which gifted us early in the season with gems like "Somewhere in Queens" and "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret" and spiking our Oscar fever at the end of the year with "The Holdovers" and "Barbie" and "The Color Purple" and even those Oscar-buzz-worthy films I usually don't go gaga over, like "Flowers of the Killer Moon" and "Anatomy of a Fall" and "Poor Things."

Oh..and unforgettable treasures like "Dicks! The Musical!" and "80 For Brady" and "Cocaine Bear" and..just wanted to see if you're still with me.

(I should have just written a generic New Year's post, like every normal person on Facebook did)

Reflection..inspection..connection..and unparalleled joy in our hearts, knowing that Evan refused to give up on finding  that elusive love connection, leading him to the fabulous Michelle shortly before Valentines Day.

Let's welcome 2024 with open hearts and open minds, with joy and laughter, with mini getaways and mini cupcakes...with health, happiness, and hope for all!