Calm the “f” down.

OK Karen..calm the "f" down and count your blessings as you begin the count down. 

 It is very dark and raining hard  but Evan should be here in about ninety minutes..and fireworks are on the schedule, despite the downpour.  We've got a great view from the balcony--we'll hear and see everything.

This is my last vacation blog of 2018!  

And my last Woodloch trip of 2018! 

 It really is great, but I don't know if I'd recommend NYE for first timers.  It is a zoo..a fun zoo, but when the North Lodge becomes a common room and not just a gathering place for gamers, you know that means there are a LOT of people.  I'm so worried about the crowds that any moment I anticipate  an epic NYE disaster...and like Shelley Winters, I'm going have some issues scaling a Christmas tree.

When I say a "common" room, I mean it's a place for gamers..and cell phone addicts..and eaters..tons of eaters. 

 Look, I get that the three meal plan is costly, and people not on it will want to grab a snack around lunchtime, but my God!  Parents were stuffing their children full of chicken nuggets and nachos..and the lobster dinner is an hour from now.  And I'm not implying the kids should be fed lobsters they won't eat..I'm just saying clean your kids up, get them ready, and let them chose something from the ample kids' menu.

Today Jim and I opted to play "Cash Cab" while Marissa and Todd  went to a trap shooting contest.  We would have won Cash Cab if we only knew what damn year the Panama Canal began..we were off by one!  One damn point away from victory is the bitterest loss of all.

We missed something big when we opted to Play Cash Cab..a record sixty teams gathered in the nightclub for Gingerbread Wars, an activity we've enjoyed when the family comes up in the summer. The most fun of all is not participating.  It is seeing the magnificent works of art created by those who do.

The secret ingredient that needed to be used in each presentation was cranberries, and everyone was up for the challenge.  The theme wasn't told until the game began, and it was "News Worthy Events of 2018"

Of course we saw dozens and dozens of Royal Weddings, but we also saw entries from people who thought outside the box.

Jim could have judged as he photographed what he considered the best--the same choices as the judges.  The bronze medals winners did a presentation of the Eagles Super Bowl win, which was tied with a team who captured the essence of the romaine lettuce recall using gingerbread and icing and decorations..it was so impressive!

The silver medal went to a perfect representation of Lebron James going to the Lakers, and the gold medal deservingly went to the team that sculpted a hamburger, a tribute to IHOP's disastrous attempt to downplay pancakes by renaming themselves I-HOB.  We also might have given a medal to those who sculpted a brilliant salute to the end of the Toys R Us era.  We were busy scouring the very crowded nightclub to find the two kids who positively freaked at Cash Cab..wondering why the Gingerbread Wars only offered things like Magic Markers and dry erase boards. We're assuming they made it in time to spread some  crimson icing on a White House Christmas tree.

The social director Joey does not necessarily know our names, but he does know our faces and our strong suits.  So when we walked by a complete mess of smashed gingerbread with absolutely nothing to indicate what 2018 event it was supposed to be saluting, he just smirked at us and quipped:  "That must be yours."

I played a game called Charts Trivia in the afternoon and was paired up with some clueless people who knew as little about vice presidents and NFL teams colors and the state of Nevada as I did, but stillI'd rather be doing that than touring museums in Europe.  (Yeah, I know, that's just crazy me)

We had one last chance to win the gold at a game called "That's Entertainment!"..ran by Joey, who was accurately described by his son as a cross between "Ryan Seacrest and an old grey squirrel."

We didn't medal but we were really GOOD!  We identified a 10 second clip from the 1977 "A Star is Born" by seeing the back of Kris Kristofferson's head! 

We are couch potatoes.  We are cinemaphiles.

We apparently haven't turned on the radio since 1989.

OK..time to get ready for the beautiful fireworks over the lake, to be viewed from our balcony.  We'll wait for Evan and then head on over for steak and lobster(except for Marissa) and I'll start on my first resolution:

Stop being so damn jealous of people who have convinced their extended families and friends to come to Woodloch. 

 I'm  gonna to be grateful for what I have.

Which is a lot.

A whole lot

The eagles have landed

Happy New Year to me!  And everyone reading this!

 Tonight I will don an evening gown(and who knows what will be on my feet--they'll be hidden) and feel like a princess. 

Not a Disney princess, probably.  

More like an insecure neurotic hot mess that just kind of lucked out.

 It'll feel like Times Square, but it'll be warm in my reserved seat, and there will be no spoiled superstar storming off the set and screwing up lyrics..  There will be a midnight buffet and a big gala and my  big ass heart and soul can't wait to participate in everything.  (Well, maybe not EVERY thing)

Last night:  From Piccachu to Pokemon to Power Puff Girls, from Ren and Stimpy to the Simpsons, from Belle to Furby to Pearl Jam, I was transported back to the pre-9/11 90's...a time of innocence, a time of hope, a time when my beautiful mature niece made her entrance at the decade's start. 

Various characters showed up as Jim and I and Todd and Marissa feasted on four-star meals.  Even Waldo showed up.  I greeted him with, "Oh..I've been looking for you"

The room was festive with all things 1990's--it really was a good era.

Todd, for once, was almost too excited to eat as he was following football. The resort's owner was summoned to our table for "an emergency"..Patrick darted over because Todd desperately needed to hug another Eagles' fan.  (Patrick was quite receptive)  And when the talented comic gave a shout out to the Eagles on stage, you could almost smell the soft pretzels and water ice in the room.  (Only it would be pronounced "w-u-d-d-e-r ice" and anyone reading this who didn't grow up in Philly would know I'm referring to what everyone else calls "Italian Ice.")

The comic was awesome..I thought Jim was going to burst something when the guy did his schtick about sounds old guys make. Something like "they sound like they swallowed a pine cone."

Marissa and Todd loved the music a lot more than we did, although I certainly knew some of the music from TV and movies and Broadway from those years.  It was only the second performance of this brand new show and they have to work out a few kinks,(hey..were the Kinks big in the 90's?) which I'm sure they'll do by our return trip in June.

There's a lot to do today..The Amazing Race and the competitive Gingerbread Wars, but I'm in the mood to exercise my brain with a Cash Cab game. Or maybe some pool and hot tub indulgence.

There is something so special about being here with a packed house--packed with like-minded people who love all things Woodloch as much as I do, 

The joy and camaraderie will be something that'll seem not of this planet by the time the clock struck midnight.

Let the countdown begin..

Pulp (Woodloch) addiction

OK. I'm pretending I'm on a cruise which means it's blogging time.  And Jim is about to go into the shower, and I am hungry, so despite the fact that I'm not rocking, I feel like  I'm on a cruise.  

Todd is rocking.  Todd likes Long Island Iced Teas.  And Todd is so freaking hilarious that he should be working here.

A fun morning while the gang worked themselves into a frenzy (and losing miserably) at Winter Olympics, while I stayed nice and cozy playing "Woodloch Goes to the Movies" with cinemaphiles.  You know you're in for a fun hour when the game begins with a salute to movies starring Samuel L. Jackson, and you've been quoting Quentin incessantly.  (And yes, THAT scene from "Pulp Fiction" was included in the tough game. )

Next came a salute to movie music, and for the life of me, I couldn't remember that EW&F "September" was in "Trolls" but I did get the song from "Brother Where Art Thou" and I remembered "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" was from "Mannequin" because my college BBF James Donio was in that movie. There were team members who knew a lot more about action movies than I do, which meant I was very happy to come in a respectable fourth place.

I really thought today's common movie theme would be the number 8, since clips were shown from "Ocean's Eight" and "The Hateful Eight" and "Eight Below" (and no, we were not given credit when I recognized the rescued huskies in the frozen tundra but called the movie "8 Down Under" instead of "8 Below." )

The morning even started off great--Todd made us play hangman at breakfast without the aid of pencils and paper, and yes, we all had a huge laugh when he screamed out the letter "T!" while the waitress was taking his coffee order and bought his tea instead. 

 But that is the essence of Todd.

I discovered that when you go to Woodloch during their NYE package you will find that you are not playing your Mama's Scavenger Hunt. It was so stressful!  And crazy!  And chaotic!  And so freakin' fun!!

Jim came back drenched in mud and if I can't ask why, then you can't either.  I worked on an impossible puzzle based on "IOUS"..that is, adding those four letters to clip art  like "Furious" with a fur coat icon.  And yes, it was as impossible as it sounds..but I did write a really good rap song for our team.  We came in a respectable..8th or 9th??  Not bad for a mobbed room.

I was proud of my creative thinking too, as when the game called for a team member to be dressed as a wrapped holiday gift, and I told a tween on our team to reverse the lining of her coat..very red and very cheery and very holidayesque.

I really need  to learn how to be more comfortable with the group chats on my smart phone, but I think all I'm missing are various sizes and shapes of poop emojis. Again, Todd...

Evan opted for one more game before heading home.."You Be The Judge" with the Amazing Randy, donned in robes and wig and gavel.  His humor is unparalleled and he loved the team  legal name I suggested.."The Judgmentals."

We heard twelve impossible to solve real life cases and we had to guess the verdict..but I think we were very good because we got the gold.  The women on our team--three of us including Marissa and me..got kissed.  The men had their medals thrown at them, and watching Todd interact with Randy was worth the price of this whole trip.

Tonight is a gourmet meal and the first Broadway caliber show of the season--a salute to the 1990's followed by a gifted comic.

Tomorrow has Gingerbread Wars and the Amazing Race, which means no medals for us, obviously, but damn, we're having fun!!

What do I have to do to convince you to save every penny until you can afford this?  Even if you're not with a family, you will FIND a family.  

This is the first time I've rung in the New Year in style.  So happy to share the joy with my husband and niece and future hilarious nephew...and son!

Woodloch:  Where you can name your team something as ridiculous as "The Sod Poodles" and still experience camaraderie and joy

The Toddinator

New Year's at Woodloch:  

This is a first.

 Breath-takingly beautiful snow covering everything in view:  A first. 

Blogging at Woodloch:  Another first. 

Fearing I'll become a "B.U.B" if I'm not inspired this morning:  

Maybe not a first...

(BUB is the acronym I invented,  Brutally Untalented Blogger, in case you forgot my previous ramblings, or in case you're never on the Internet, which is FILLED with BUBS)

I never blog here--there are no Europeans with fascinating backgrounds--the people I usually write about in a vacation journal.  

What there are..are enough people to fill three Times Squares.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing yet--I think it might be.  Because with a growing crowd, the enthusiasm is beyond contagious--it's an epidemic.  We are the only NYE virgins--and I think we're the only non-Italians from Long Island.  

That's not exactly true--I played "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" with a family from Florida--a Greek, fun family from Florida.  My Big Fat (self) Greek Teammates.  They weren't fat--they were hot--and  they were smarter than a fifth grader, but we didn't win a medal.  We probably won't this trip--there are way too many contenders.  It's like--it doesn't matter how gorgeous your voice is, you're not getting on "The Voice."

We played a very challenging game called "Man Vs. Mobile"--you had decide each round whether you wanted to answer a tough question on your own(with team brain power) or..using less time..get some help from Google.  Todd Manned up..and insisted we all play as "Man."  That served us well, until some other team chose "Ancient History" as their category--and we did as well as you could imagine we'd do.  

My niece Marissa  is the lucky finance of Todd, a big kid with a big heart and a big laugh and a big appetite and a big love for Long Island iced teas but man, this guy is so enthusiastic and fun that you wonder if he's capable of sleeping.  Picture the offspring of the Pied Piper and any character Seth Rogen has ever played--that's Todd.  And I'm enjoying every goofy minute of him--it's like traveling with a lovable labordor retriever.

Evan and Jim and Todd and Marissa went to the Horse Race while I had to come to the stark realization that I'm probably not as smart as a fifth grader. 

 I've never seen horse races like this..the pot was sixteen THOUSAND dollars.  And there was only one winning team.  Which meant five losing teams are going to run up quite the bar tab....It's one of Woodloch's most popular activity. And people take it so seriously that I won't be surprised if a horse's head winds up somewhere it's not supposed to wind up

We also played another trivia game in the afternoon..my not-quite-as-smart-as-a-fifth-grader brain hurts.  This was a salute to the 90's, the theme for the resort for 2019.  

I realize I know even less about 90's music than I do about Mesopotamia, but I did recognize a few themes from TV and movies..and more than a few TV and movie clips.  Todd was on fire...he must settle down every now and then if his couch potato prowess is this great..although if you meet him, you'd probably conclude this is what caffeine would look like if it came to life.  And then you'd laugh.  And then you'd hug him.  And then you knew that the niece you've loved like a daughter your whole life was going to get her laugh filled happily ever after!

Funniest NY state bumper sticker:  A photo of Ted Cruz with the caption "This guy ate my son!"

We're about to get ready for the day, enjoy the walk on these snow dusted hills as we head for breakfast and I head for a defibrillator. . I'm excited to see the schedule--I'm sure it'll be jam packed with events I'll write about in detail later.

A little bummed that Evan has to leave today..work beckons tomorrow.

Gonna miss my kid--but am glad to have the company of a niece and her hilarious fiancee--they feel like Amster offspring too.

I'm sure I'll have a lot to say later.  I'll write about the medal our team didn't win but deserved.  I'll write about Todd's antics.  And then I'll ask everyone reading this, "when are you going to believe me enough to book a trip?"

Now I'll get as cliche as a "BUB"..(those BUBS often use cliches as 'though they discovered them) 'there's no place like home..except for Woodloch.  Woodloch IS your home, only more fun and functional