Welcome to Kay Five!

I don't know who will be sorrier, you, the Facebook friends who've requested that I start a blog after reading my updates from my two recent Club Med trips, or me, who can never  stick with anything but will try to write one because I've been requested to do so.

 Welcome to Kay Five, where, when motivated, I will post five random or not so  random neurotic thoughts that will make you laugh, make you think, and make you wonder why you ever decided to friend me.

First of all, a brief explanation of the most ridiculous user name in the history of the Internet. When I first got on-line around a dozen or so years ago, Jim convinced me to pick a name that would a) be easy to remember and b) reflect something about the person I am.

  Considering even  I can never even remember my own password most of the time, I miserably failed with item "a".. But I picked it, as some of you may have guessed, because the activity that best describes the kind of person I am is playing Scrabble.    Scrabble and Wheel of Fortune puzzle solving are the only things I do well, thus the name Kay Five, since the "K" is worth five points in the beloved game created by Alfred Butts all those years ago. I guess if I chose a name that accurately described me, it might have been easier to remember, but "sleeps 'til noon" or "scared of highways" is more convoluted than even  Kay Five.

I never seriously considered blogging before I took these last vacations.  In fact, I didn't even call it blogging then, I just called it journaling.  And even 'though I talked about things that most people talk about on vacations, ie. the weather, the room, the food, I hoped to do so in a way that didn't feel like I was forcing people to look at my  home movies, but rather, to capture the hilarious moments that occurred and to  share them.   Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone's vacation photos, I really do, but how many palm trees can you really see from someone's balcony?  What are you supposed to say?  "Now THAT'S some kind of greenery!" or "well..that water certainly is wavy, isn't it?" I also don't like seeing photos of museums or churches or anything old unless they're made out of cheese.  Unless the person taking the photo is actually IN them. I don't need to see yet another vacationer holding up the leaning tower of Pisa, it makes me want to tour Europe even less than I already do. (But truth be told, I am lazy and don't like the idea of walking for a thousand miles)  I feel the same way about vacation updates and photos like I do about birthday acknowledgments.  Make them personal.  Make me CARE.  Just adding an exclamation point or a name doesn't make a birthday greeting special.  Nor does using a redundancy.  Saying "happy birthday, I hope it's fun!' isn't saying anything unique. And neither is showing me a photo of your hotel's night stand, even 'though I've done just that when I remember to use the camera the right way and not just post photos of my eyeball.  (Yes, it's true..my 1972 trip to Canada has 24 photos, and 21 of them are of my eyeball)

So let's give this a whirl.  It certainly won't be my first--or last--failure if I throw this party and nobody shows up.

  Here are my Five Thoughts for today:

1) why, when someone is trying to be complimentary, are negative phrases used?  We call a very clever person a "riot"..we call hilarious comics "screams" who have "killed it" or "nailed it" or "slayed it".  I question this.

2)  On the other hand, why, when someone is trying to be negative, do they say such wonderful things?  "Go jump in a lake?"  That's something I LOVE!!  "Go to Hell?"  Isn't that that wonderful little touristy town in Grand Cayman Island?  Even the standard "Go "F" yourself"..uh..would if we COULD..why is that bad???  "Eat "s" and die", yeah, I guess I understand why THAT one's a negative.

3) I treat every guy like the pool boy except the boy who actually opens the pool.

4) When I wake my husband up at 3:00 AM, what could I POSSIBLY be saying besides "YOU'RE snoring?" He actually asks this, each and every time.  "What about snoring?" he'll quiz me at that ungodly hour. I'm not asking how to spell "snoring" or how many Scrabble points it's worth or even what the medical explanation of it is.  I'm simply barking an order.."STOP snoring!"

5) I cannot wait to meet my new niece, Shoshana Levson, who was born just two weeks ago. And I'm very glad my nephew and his wife didn't combine Hollywood baby-naming trends with their strong religious convictions and name the kid something like "Schmatah" or "Plotz"

oKAY...That's FIVE