Thank you David Sedaris

Book of the day is David Sedaris' "Calypso".

How did I miss a new David Sedaris book? 

 And it's not even that new!

Ugh..I wish..for about a zillion reasons..that there was no virus.

 I'd be happy. 

 I'd have hair I could manage. That I'd  actually work on because someone would be SEEING it.

 I'd be spending less time on line.

I wouldn't be up eight pounds .oh okay, I would be.

 ( It's ice cream season, wanna make something of it?)

  I'd wear something besides nightgowns and bathing suits.

The only mask I'd be wearing is a figurative one, one I always  wear when I have to talk with people I don't particularly like.

And most likely, I'd be traveling, which means keeping a travel journal, which I'd try like crazy to prevent  from becoming a "blag" the braggy blogs that permeate the Internet on a daily basis.

But I'll brag a little here, because if I WERE on vacation, like I'd be without the virus, I'd be INSPIRED by David Sedaris and his latest. 

 I could NEVER write like him, but I'd still hear his VOICE as I sat next to my laptop, and something just MIGHT come out that would be readable and relatable.

He, too, hates to drive!!  (So much so that he doesn't do it at ALL)

He, too, makes fun of his late parents.

He, too, makes cringe-worthy statements in front of his spouse.

There'd be minutia and pop culture references and self-deprecation.

And bodily function descriptions.  Tons of those.

David Sedaris writes several chapters describing life in big beautiful beach rentals with a large, loving, dysfunctional extended family, and I'm so jealous that I can't see straight.

I want to be clever and witty like David.  I want an agent.

I want a vacation!

Auto-correct made that "vaccination" because I took too long to type that word while trying to form my next thought.

That would totally work too