The ego has landed

I woke up today with a swollen arm and a swollen ego.

That's an exaggeration.

Not swollen--sore--SORE arm  from the Pfizer shot yesterday. 

 (Swollen might require a trip to the ER)

The swollen ego?? 

That's  another story.

You know how much I despise blags, those braggy blogs that are filled with self-serving, nauseating boast fests that assault the senses of  those of us who are stupid enough to follow them on a daily basis?

But due to insomnia, I decided to embrace my swollen ego and pen a blag.

(I'll star by saying how proud I am of my portmanteau, "blag" )

 Counting compliments is more effective than counting sheep, I've discovered,  so I decided, without sounding too egotistical, to make a list of the ten biggest compliments of my life. 

Everyone should try this. 

 Even if you're not in a pandemic funk or feeling blue for other reasons, lift your spirits, pat your ego, and try to think of the ten biggest compliments in your life.

Here are mine, in no particular order:

1) From my Aunt Ruby, after seeing a watercolor I painted of Carol Burnett as the Charwoman on display at the Civic Center in Philadelphia when I was in seventh grade:  "Geez..that kid has talent.  It's unbelievable how much talent that kid has!"

(Full disclosure:  She probably wasn't talking about me.  There were a  lot of us that took Saturday morning art classes)

2) From a stranger, in 2003, when I was entertaining Evan and his friend Jimmy at the" Egg and I" diner in Ogunquit, Maine. I was just doing my normal thing--creating various games on place mats to pass the time while waiting for pancakes, when this stranger said, "you must be a teacher.   What a way to entertain kids.  All I do is argue with my husband!"

(many of Evan's friends think of me as the fun Mom who can bring a party back to life..See the next item)

3) From my cousin's son, Matthew, who once said:  "It's not just about the games..Karen brings so much fun to the Poconos!  She makes everything fun!"

4)From my friend Andi, who worked at a summer camp and was ineligible for a  Color Wars presentation  because the songs and cheers I helped her write sounded "too professional."

(C'mon..I'm no Randy Rainbow..but this blog is all about taking compliments, so I'll take them)

5)From high school classmates, who'd see me in the hallways and point and say, "there goes Edith Bunker!" (I was sixteen and  wrote an unsolicited script  for "All in the Family" called "Archie's Diet" that was recognized by Norman Lear Productions.  It wasn't purchased, of course, but it was praised, and staged as a HS production, and while I still had vocal chords, I did a pretty mean imitation of Edith)

I  had the  voice, mannerisms, and  her frumpy wardrobe too.

  (Aka, my regular school clothes)

6)From my frenemy Beth:  "We might as well start listening to Karen when she talks.  She's usually right about things"

7)From Jim's work colleague who attended one of our seders:  "Wow..Karen wrote her own Haggadah and turned it into a "Wizard of Oz" parody?  And she makes brisket that's restaurant quality like this?    You're a lucky man, Jim..now if she'd only lose a few pounds"

(OK..he didn't say that last part)

But this next item IS a true story:

8) From my college BFF, Jim, who reacted THIS way to this story.

 I told him about a guy, a guy who was a platonic friend, who one day poured on compliments like hungry diners do  on pancakes in Maine diners, who told me he found me to be fun and funny and cute and talented and smart and actually said, "if you'd lose a few pounds I'd actually consider asking you out" to which my brilliant gay friend replied, "that's like saying I'd ask you out if you got rid of those fuzzy green slippers in your closet--that rancid stick of butter in the fridge"

There was no Lizzo in those days, women like me needed snarky gay men to convince us that self-worth comes in any size.

9) From my BFF Rochelle's aunt and uncle, who were having dinner in our apartment one night, and when I came in, they both remarked how much I looked like "Jane Fonda, from her "Klute" days"

(Appearance compliments : the rarest diamond of them all)

10) From my brother Steven, who, after consoling him about the loss of his poodle, practically wept and told me how grateful he is to have me as a loving, supportive sister.

There you have it.

Ego sufficiently stroked.

Next, I'll try to list the ten biggest insults of my life.

Now you know there's no way I'll be able to limit it to only  ten examples.

I could come up with ten examples from last week alone.