I thought I’d never ever see this movie..

I recall, probably a dozen years ago or so, once  trying to navigate, thus blocking,  an icy incline that led from our hotel room to the dining hall at Woodloch, when a fellow guest looked at me, and uttered quietly but still loud enough to hear the sarcasm and contempt in his voice, "hey lady..breakfast closes in ten minutes.  Move it along there, Swifty"

Now I can legit call myself just that, after spending the afternoon with Jim and about a thousand teenyboppers, donned in glitter and carrying their glow sticks like mighty swords, at the perfectly delightful Taylor Swift "Eras" movie.

These young girls were cult-like in their love for their idol--good for them!

 I could barely hear Taylor over their adolescent, strained voices, charred from scalding hot cheese on their movie theater  nachos, but they did not care.  They danced, they sang, they worshipped at her feet with her dozen pairs of glittery  high heeled boots.

They knew every lyric too..My God, I barely remember the words to patriotic songs that I was REQUIRED to learn when I was their age!

I needed those tweens to interpret every heartfelt sentiment for me. 

 I'm hard of hearing to begin with(and Jim is no better) when it comes to hearing stage  lyrics,  and I'd old enough to be the bitter, jaded grandmother of Taylor's, the one  that possibly  inspires most of her break-up songs.

At one point I nudged Jim and whispered, after seeing all the color and pageantry and glitz and glamour and rapid costume changes that, "I don't think we're in Kansas City anymore."

I was distracted(but never bored) when an unfamiliar hit was played, so I looked for imperfections in her skin(and found not a single one) or familiar faces in the Los Angeles auditorium. (again..no luck--not even a quick shot of Kanye West, ready to storm the stage and promote a Beyonce concert)

I only know songs from the 60's--Motown or Broadway or TV themes songs, but these Swifties didn't miss a beat--or the chance to scream like a bunch of wild banshees.

I only was familiar with two of her hits: "Shake it Off" and "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", which, when sung by this choir of cherry-coked-up swaying super fans, , sounded like, "we are never..EVER..gonna get good weather"..or.."we are never..EVER..making up with Heather"..or, what Jim heard, "we are never..EVER..going to lose... a feather."

Jim was happy because the movie got his mind off of all the stresses caused by Fantasy Football.

I was happy because I needed to see a wonderful musical after the dud we saw in the theater last night.

Yep, Taylor and her Swifties got the sour taste of "Dicks" out of my mouth.

Too soon?