The carousel of time

tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of Evan's bar mitzvah.  I don't know what makes me sadder..the fact that my Mom's gone and that the day meant so much to her, or that fact that the video-grapher screwed up  and there's no film of her on the bima with her sons, my brothers.  Or maybe it's the loss of everything--Mom, the video-tape, Evan's youth, my youth, people who we've lost touch with, religiousity that we've lost touch with...but believe it or not, I am still capable of accentuating the positive. Like the joy in the audience when my cousin Martin, the cantor, sang Joni Mitchell's "Circle Game".  It was one of Evan's favorite songs(and still is one of mine) and the guitar strumming was so soothing. Evan's speech was something I'll always treasure and it was actually salvaged due to Jim's creativity with technology. And then there was that awesome party.  The theme was baseball, and I remember how Evan and his BFF Jimmy had so much fun deciding which team would best represent which table.  Who'd have guessed that a decade later, these fine young men would be traveling to the stadiums that provided hours of entertaining planning back then? Friends and family from all walks of life came out to celebrate that milestone--that simcha. If they could only see Evan now....