"I'll take clever typographical errors for $200.. Alex"
The answer is: "Hungary"
"What is an adjective to describe Karen Amster's constant state of being?"
"We'll allow that..we'd also accept bitch-a-y, sleep-a-y..and menopausal-y"
Ok... to all 18 of you still reading my vacation journal, I am punch drunk silly from no sleep(which is why I started with an optimistically high reader number and a forced joke) but we have arrived in Budapest, which some people insist on calling Buda-PESHT. Which is sad--the first way is easier to remember as Buddha and Pest are aptly named monikers for we weary world travelers.
I should be napping--no, I shouldn't--that'll throw off my clock--but I have to blog because I am on vacation. I promised myself I would never blog more often that that, out of fear of becoming a BUB--my acronym for Brutally Untalented Blogger, which I'd be if I did this more often. And we've all had our share of BUBS...
Obviously I'm ignoring all those requests to cut the blog because I am selfish and have a lot to say. Would you ask Rapunzel to cut her ladder hair? She'd die if no rescuer could climb her..so..for those of you still reading my insanity in its entirety, you'll get an acknowledgement when the blog becomes a best seller. Which it won't because I won't listen to an editor.
The shower in this hotel is extremely high. It make no sense. It makes no scents. OMG, I need to nap...
Let me tell you about the airport adventure before I detail today's events. Nah..I'll do the events first since there's not too much to say. This is the most beautiful hotel I've ever seen, and we'll be here for two nights before we board the Avalon Riverboat in Vienna on Tuesday.
We did the Hop on Hop Off tour which was interesting enough, considering that we were nodding off and trying to keep the ear buds plugged in. The streets were mobbed with marathoners in costumes..I saw a Rubik's Cube trying awfully hard to keep his balance. The Danube is a beautiful sight to behold, but apparently, there's a low water situation--which is why we can't board the boat here and why we have to be bussed to Vienna.
I fell in love with Vienna from the "Before" trilogy and dreamt that I'd be there with Ethan Hawke's Jessie one day, talking everything from politics to art. (My real dream was playing Chutes and Ladders with Charlie Sheen--I THINK--I can't SWEAR I slept on the plane)
But the airport experience...A woman named Danica tells me I have a choice: Public or private. Because I was getting a very..shall we say..thorough..pat down either way. She told me she'd be handling buttocks and crotch and everything in between.
This happened at 4:42 PM on October 6th, 2018 at the Philadelphia International airport. Danica wore blue gloves and a standard black airline employee uniform. She wore small hoop earrings and the trays that held our wallets and keys were grey.
I feel a need to document these details in case either Danica or myself are being considered for SCOTUS. Because if every detail isn't remembered exactly as it happened, there could be consequences. Like..nobody will believe what happened with Danica.
OK..no more politics...for the next five seconds.
The architecture here is really impressive. I think the best is yet to come--they say Budapest is magical after dark.
All I knew about Hungary before I got here was that Jim's ancestors came from here. And the goulash. And the Gabors.
Because my blog wouldn't be MY blog without an irrelevant random story, I remember as a teenager going to the Mike Douglas Show where Zsa Zsa was his vain and obnoxious guest. During every single commercial break, she had a crew of at least four-six hairstylists primping her every strand. Someone in the audience stood up and yelled what we were all thinking: "Zsa Zsa..who the hell do you think is messing it up?"
I miss that Hungarian bitch, I truly do.
I know my Gabors.
And my goulash..I had some for lunch and it was quite good.
More later when I am coherent...
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