The summer blues

It should FEEL like summer, but it does not. 

 And not because it's June 11th, and the official start isn't for a few more days. 

 And not because it's raining, I like the sound and the smell of a summer storm.

It should feel like summer because my cover up still smells like sunscreen.  My damp bathing suit if still drying on the rack. I did pool exercises yesterday, I cracked open the long neglected Kindle and am thoroughly enjoying the highly recommendable "The Escape Room."

It should feel like summer, or almost summer, because we're grilling more and using the oven less, because the air is perfumed with the scent of lilac and coconut oil, and rabbits are roaming freely, sending Luke into a frenzy, and everything is a rerun, which I usually LOVE because I'm enslaved to the tube for three other seasons..

But it doesn't feel like summer, it feels like a robbery. 

 (For me and everyone else, I know)

I should be counting the days to the June family vacation we're not going on. I should be reading Rotten Tomato reviews and discussing with Jim what we plan to see this weekend, where to eat, who to invite to join us.

I should be buying more corn!  Planning a pool party or two!  Talking with fellow fans of "This is Us" about what to expect with the fall premiere that's not going to premiere.

I should be getting a cute summer haircut.  I should be shaving my legs!  Buying a new bathing suit!

I should be soaking in the crowds at the beach, or the boardwalk, or even tables full of noisy eaters clanking silverware against glasses at some outdoor cafe in the city, even at 10:00 PM.

I should be coughing from pollen, not fretting that every tiny sneeze is an ominous sign.

I know it could be worse..I know I am a spoiled middle aged woman, and I've been that since I was a teenager.

Look at all the kids who waited almost a year for the promotion at summer camp..or the chance to reunite with friends they haven't seen in ages.

 EVERYONE's vacation has been cancelled, or postponed.  I'm sure I'm not the only one having weird dreams about a favorite resort, where everything is just a bit off, knowing that upon awakening, it'll STILL be a bit off. 

I miss the sound of ice cream trucks and barking dogs and rowdy kids.

I come alive in the summer, and I miss that feeling. That anticipation. That excitement.

Social media isn't helping.  I'm deluged with messages that it's "almost safe to resume a normal life"..until it isn't.

This is 2020!

The indication of perfect vision.

Barbara Walters catch phrase.

And for most of us, a stolen year.

So let me bitch..it soothes me.  Just a little bit.