Karen complaining 5eva..

This day started like all my days do this time of year:  I spent it sulking.

I'm sulking because there was absolutely nothing worth doing today.

I did NOT want to go back  into a dirty pool.

I did not want to try to read more pages of my boring book.

I did my exercises and they were done by 10:00 AM--my MIND exercises, via cryptograms and puzzles. 

 That's the only  daily exercise I get.

(Besides exercises in futility, like trying to get friends together.)

(Besides  pool exercises, in my backyard cesspool..)

(That's even too "Karen" for me..it's fine.  It's clean.  The pool's  fine and clean enough. I'm just being a bitch)

I'm not getting much business, so I decided to relax and watch some of the must-see shows I've been missing.

And then I remembered, I can't watch "Peacock" or "Hulu" without that credit card!!

I was hoping some Las Vegas stripper would steal "James Amster's" cash and dignity when THIS happened:

FedEx rang the bell with an envelope that contained the new credit card!

So Jim worked and worked and upgraded and upgraded while I thought of various painful scenarios that could and should befall the imposter in Vegas, when he tells me:  "OK..you can watch TV.  The credit card is working"

I grab my Combos and my iced tea and prop my feet up.  I'm ready for fun when he says to me, "what did you do with the fire stick?"

What did I DO with the fire stick??

I barely know what it is, why would I  be the one to lose it?

He then dangles me with, "well..you're all good to watch and the credit card is cleared, but you can't get back to your show until we find that fire stick"

It was August, 2020 all over again, when the impossible to pronounce hurricane Isaiah/Isiasis messed with our cable and we couldn't get those last crucial 17.34 minutes of "Unbelievable."

"I did not misplace that fire stick..You are the gadget guy who loses things all the time, not me."

So he searched.  He searched the TV room, the bathroom, the laundry basket, the clothes he wore last night, the bathroom again, and nope..no fire stick.

He finally says, "I'll have to order a new one.  You've waited this long, what's a few more days?"

That was NOT going to cut it!

I'm already waiting for the pool vaccum to be fixed!

I'm already waiting for anti-vaxxers to wake up.

I'm already waiting for the news that our anniversary trip to someplace warm and tropical has to be postponed because the anti-vaxxers did not , in fact, wake up.

I was not going to wait anymore, so Jim dug through cushions like he was Luke looking for a Milkbone he had buried in them last year and guess what he found??

A quarter.  Some stray hairs that didn't belong to any of us.

And..the fire stick.

Look, you know and I know how I get when I'm talking "Must-See-TV"

I swooned for "Schmigadoon"

Had side-splitting laugh attacks for "Hacks"

Said, "you can quote us.."The White Lotus" is da' bomb!"

(OK, I didn't say that last one, or any of them, but I'm on a  poetic roll)

"Girls5Eva" is more than clev-ah...

 It is the MOST "must" of all of them.

You MUST see this.

Don't do what I did..watch the first few episodes two months ago, when you were dead tired and couldn't concentrate, so you stopped, but then  you decided to give it another try because your dirty pool couldn't be vacuumed because the vacuum is in the shop, and some knucklehead is pretending to be your husband in Nevada.

I watched it again, and I could watch it again and again and again and again, because the credit card was good  and the streaming is streaming again and the fire stick was found.

The cameos, the costumes, the comedic gold of Renee Elise Goldberry!

Yes, I've said that before, but this is laugh at every single uttered line funny, especially when those lines are  pouring out of the mouths of Paula Pell and Busy Phillips.

Big, hard, belly laughs that leave you gasping for air.

It is fantastic, and it deserved a lot more Emmy love than it got.

I am now heading out to the bug juice  pit in my back yard for some exercise and to heal my split sides.

And as I type this, Jim just yelled down the most romantic thing he's ever said to me in the almost thirty-four years of knowing him.

He said, "The pool store called and the  vacuum is ready to be picked up!"

How lucky am I?

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