It’s not the closure I expected.
It’s just.. pain.
Raw pain.
Unbearable grief.
Jim just got back with the ashes.. the polished beautiful wooden box that contains an explanation about The Rainbow Bridge ( oh, I want to believe it really exists. So much!!)
The box also contained a cloth sack filled with a plastic bag.
All that is left of our Luke.
Fine sand, tiny pebbles that I’m assuming were bones.
His name embossed on the lid.
We put his collar into the box.. the original one we bought in Cape May in 2009 with a New York Yankees theme.
It’s dirty and worn.. but it was his. It probably has his DNA and his scent.
Sea turtles!!!
Sea turtles live to effin’ one hundred and fifty years old!!
Not to disparage them.. but they don’t snuggle with you in bed. Or make you cringe when you witness their crazy aggression. Or make you laugh for the same reason.
Mother Nature.. what were you thinking???
Actually.. I wouldn’t have wanted Luke to have the lifespan of a sea turtle.
Because then he’d know the agonizing grief of losing US.
We couldn’t put him through that.
No person is capable of giving humans this kind of unconditional love.
And we were blessed to have that love for over sixteen years.
I need to keep on talking about Luke.
Thank you all for allowing me to do so.
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