T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house/you'll find shoes everywhere that belong to my spouse/I'm sitting here braless with God-awful hair/and I don't give a hoot..we can't go anywhere!!/the poodle is nestled all snug in his wee little nook/with visions of humping sheets/damn it..tonight I MUST cook!/I don't own a kerchief/Jim won't wear a cap/but we're desperately craving a long..winter's nap..
My snarky attempt at parody is healthier than the original version. where the guy in the cap is anticipating a visit from St. Nick instead of the exterminator to deal with the mouse that isn't stirring anymore, which means he's got a dead mouse on Christmas Eve. That should take priority over sugar plums, whatever THEY are.
Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!
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