Winging it

The things I remember!

The things that inspire me!

Brace yourselves for more corn than you're going to find in those homemade biscuits that will appear on some tables tomorrow, but..I am inspired! 

 I would say that when that happens, I "light up a room" but Jim would immediately flip the switch if I did and ask me if we have stock in the electric company.

So no lighting up a room, but...

My brother and I had a nostalgic chat today about Thanksgiving dinners growing up.  My mother would cook for two days, with only one conventional oven.  No microwave, no second fridge to store and make  side dishes  ahead of time , no roomy dining table, even with the leaf.

But man, she cooked that turkey's butt off(thank goodness) and always called the golden boy "Oscar" for some reason.

And then it hit me!!

Golden boy!

Oscar!

Let the contrived humor begin as you indulge in WINGS tomorrow.

Maybe you're going to a relative's house, which isn't exactly the GRAND HOTEL, but you'll be glad you went, because when you discuss your meal with your future grandchildren one day, you'll likely  begin your story with "IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT"

(I'm just getting warmed up--three hours at 250 and don't you dare go there!!  Maybe AFTER eating Thanksgiving dinner, but not YET!)

I'll always remember that MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY, when someone brought up politics.

My cousins Andy and Alicia have been hosting for over twenty years now, and they serve a beautiful meal.  I compliment the chefs as we clean up, eyeing their tupperware, and they notice me salivating over the leftovers and they say, "sorry Karen.  YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU.

(They'd NEVER say that, by the way..that one is 'cause I'm on a roll.  A hot, buttered roll)

We usually arrive in time to catch the end of the Macy's parade, and we often witness a near disaster when the weather is bad, prompting one of us to say, about an errant float, "well..that's GONE WITH  THE WIND..

I always bring a dish of crispy brussels sprouts, and their nickname as of now will be "Valley" so guests can ask me, "so..this year, Karen, HOW GREEN WAS (IS) YOUR 'VALLEY'?"

By the time the appetizers are eaten and it's time for the main course, things often seem to be GOING MY WAY.  In fact, dinners at my cousins are often described as "THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES"

Jim and Andy make a GENTLEMAN'S AGREEMENT not too discuss anything off limits, but I often wonder if gossip was off the table.

We could gossip ALL ABOUT EVE but we don't know anyone with that name.

We could talk about AN AMERICAN IN PARIS but we don't know anyone who is overseas at this time.

We COULD gossip about MARTY, our wonderful cousin who entertained us with his humor at Thanksgiving dinner in 2021, but we sadly lost him in September at the ripe old age of 102.  We could discuss my brother's beloved poodle GIGI, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 2005, but that would just  be..sad..

Thank goodness my cousins have a large suburban home that is suitable for entertaining.  My mother could have never cooked  Oscar  in her last residence, THE APARTMENT.

Alicia is such a gracious hostess, MY FAIR LADY!  Every time she offers us something delicious to snack on it like hearing THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

And I love watching Andy making use of his plentiful spice rack.  He is truly  A MAN FOR ALL SEASON(ing)S

Sometimes the kitchen gets warm from the oven, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT, but we make do.

One of us will invariably ask if we DO, INDEED, have a cousin in Paris, attempting to make THE FRENCH CONNECTION.

Andy and I share a grandfather--our parents are siblings..but did we also share THE GODFATHER?  

I want to say something sarcastic here, but I'm afraid of the repercussions from THE STING.

OMG..Did I once see a fly one the ceiling, hovering over the carved turkey?  Was it an illusion, or was it really ONE (who) FLEW OVER THE  CUCKOO"S  (turkey's) NEST (platter)?

I'm so glad my cousins host and we don't.  Our chairs are ROCKY, and Jim would insist on putting on an old "Seinfeld" episode,  and we'd argue about what was the best, and he'd always highlight Michael Richards' episodes, and I liked the ones starring Jerry, so it would  just wind up being KRAMER... VS.KRAMER anyway.

I know how nutty we sound but trust me..we are really just ORDINARY PEOPLE.

Are we  NOT that, honey? Dear? Sweetheart?

I know Jim..it's been awhile since I've used TERMS OF ENDEARMENT.

I hope my cousin comes tomorrow!  He grew up near Johannesburg, so yes, he's OUT OF AFRICA.

I hope we get good weather tomorrow for traveling.

I hope it doesn't RAIN, MAN. Thank goodness we don't have to worry about DRIVING MISS DAISY. 

She must be the relative in France.

I know some eaters at the table don't like turkey, so our hosts will offer a few alternative entrees, like they usual do. I hope it's not chops, but if it is, I promise to show respect and  SILENCE (for) OF THE LAMBS.

I know, I know..this stupid post should be UNFORGIVEN, I know.

Did SCHINDLER'S LIST have pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, and canned gravy on it? 

 Just wondering...

If the turkey is a female, I know we'll all be GLAD-I-(we)ATOR.

(say that one out loud)

Oh, I hope we don't get into a major CRASH en route.  I'd hate to succumb to any potential injury, to be THE (early) DEPARTED.

There may be NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, but there will be plenty of seniors around the table tomorrow..a good thing!

Andy will say grace, and we'll all listen to THE KING'S  (Kahn's) SPEECH.

Alicia's mom will make her wonderful pie..she's THE ARTIST in the kitchen. (and since our hosts' surname is "Kahn"..I'll refer to her as a real PECAN pie artist..because I can!)

Wow..I remember when I'd clean up after Thanksgiving dinner in my parents house that had no dishwasher.  I felt like I was cleaning up for over a decade..

12 YEARS A SLAVE is how I would have described myself!

Quick joke:  What's a good nickname for a chef like my cousin Andy on Thanksgiving day?

How about..BIRDMAN??

(c'mon..after all THIS..you didn't think I'd go THERE??)

I hope the SPOTLIGHT isn't on me..and I hope there's enough MOONLIGHT  when we walk to the car in the pitch black for our long ride home.

I'm sure I'll pack on some pounds tomorrow and look like a small  lake.  That's right..I expect to take on THE SHAPE OF WATER.

I hope I don't overeat or overstay my welcome..I don't want to be considered a PARASITE.

Ah..Thanksgiving!

It's all about, well..EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE..ALL AT ONCE

Just think:

I would have saved you twenty minutes(that you're not getting back) of reading time  if my Mom had named that annual turkey Emmy instead of Oscar.

But I had fun...sick, silly fun..

Happy t'day

 

  

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