Thursday morning
Welcome to Astoria, where John Jacob Astor sent a crew to buy furs shortly before dying in the Titanic, “ going down like a gentleman”
It’s the birthplace of Steve Irwin’s widow, Terri,and also “ Vampira.”
Our guide, Paige, told us quite a bit about what to expect from the Lewis and Clark experience, and how bars and brothels were very popular during this time.
Johns paid for a woman’s service by dropping fish into her box and no, I didn’t make that up.
Ask Paige.
Port Clatsop( with a “t”.. I got it wrong before )is a place that smells like fresh pine and summer camp.
We meet our tour guide, a Girl Scout named Sally, who meets the group and shouts, “it looks like we beat children!”
And then she clarified, saying a bunch of middle schoolers outside of Portland were on a field trip, trying to create the Lewis and Clark experience by making soaps and candles and using quills for journaling. They stood guard and fought off small pox.
Our guide tells us about how valuable thirty tons of whale blubber was and I immediately thought about how glad everyone must have been that Ozempic wasn’t around.
A few ship mates almost killed us with the scooters that they had learned to operate just moments before the walk on the trail began, but that didn’t take away from our enjoyment of this excursion.
The place had the freshest air I ever breathed, and we learned that Lewis and Clark had a dog named Semen.
Yes they did too!!
Look it up if you don’t believe me.
As the school children prepared for their eventual auditions on “Survivor” by using flints and stones, Sally told us that Lewis and Clark survived by eating elk.
Elk: it’s what’s for dinner!
And lunch and breakfast!
And clothing!
I could just imagine a sign that read, “no elk shoes? No elk shirts? No elk for you!”
Lunch starts in a few minutes and then it’s off to cape disappointment
And you might have guessed by now what I’ll order for lunch: elk stew and a Diet Coke without lemon.
Sacagawea!!!
Because I felt like shouting that!
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