Miss Karen was not disappointed

Thursday afternoon 

A feisty octogenarian named Bonnie was our guide to Cape Disappoiment, and both the guide and the excursion itself were  spectacular, even though I thought we’d never leave the parking lot because she kept miscounting how many of us there were.

I thought the place , Cape Disappointment, was probably named by a honeymooning virgin but it was not.. it was named by British explorer John Meares who quit before he found what he was looking for, because he was a man, and even centuries earlier, his kind would not stop and ask for directions.

Robert Gray eventually found the opening to the Columbia River in 1792, as he was a fur trader from Boston who was  not a quitter.

It was originally called Dismal Nitch (niche) but I think everyone agreed that “disappointment “ was easier to spell.

Speaking of spelling, I want to refer to Meriwether Lewis from now on as Merry Weather, because it sounds gayer and more fun and if he used that spelling  it might have prevented his  eventual suicide.

I would have thought about ending it all as well if I wore rotting clothes and saw the sun only six out of the one hundred and twenty days I was away.

Only one guy died on the initial exploration, ordered by Thomas Jefferson, and Bonnie told us his name was George Floyd, and he died from systemic racism.. er.. appendicitis.

We later found out his name was actually Charles,  Charles Floyd, but this is the third famous name I’ve screwed up since being on this trip because I’m too dumb to realize common names can be  shared, like John Astor and Harry Truman and one of the Floyd’s.

Why can’t I get some  names that are impossible to mix up, like Engelbert Humperdink or Sacagawea, when I’m compiling my notes?

If John  Meares, the British explorer,  hadn’t given up, then Washington State would be Canada now, for those history buffs who read my blog to try to discover fun facts. 

Our first stop on the Disappointment Park excursion was called Waikiki beach. We didn’t see palm trees but we did see a guy walking two standard poodles that looked like Luke on steroids. We were also warned not to stand on the unsightly driftwood that littered the shore ( that was caused by the volcanic eruption) because the coach bus would leave us if we got entangled in it just for a photo op.

We then traveled to the magnificent second part of the excursion where we saw a few whales and the shimmering Pacific Ocean and mountains shaped like a saddle on this beautiful sunny day.

The coach bus couldn’t even make it up that mountain but we transferred to small shuttle buses that took us to the breathtaking sight. Jim tried to hike to the lighthouse but it was a steep climb and we were running short on time.

The museum was fabulous. Filled with artifacts and pages written from the actual journals of Lewis and Clark, in a penmanship that only a pharmacist could decipher. 

We were so lucky to get such gorgeous weather. Some visitors get rain and wind, similar to what Jim experienced earlier today when he paid two dollars to go into the hurricane simulator contraption at the maritime museum here in Astoria. 

Great excursions really make up for inconveniences like tight quarters and a dated dining room.

I never did get that step stool but I actually like this cozy room now. The pillows and bedding are superb!!

The pampering and personal touches are incomparable. A few staff members must have seen me walking and wincing, or overheard me using “Tonya Harding-ing” as a verb to describe my knee pain, because as soon as we got off the bus, a lovely man named Julius offered me a lift back to the ship.

“ I’ve been looking for you on all the buses, Miss Karen!” He says. “ Don’t be embarrassed that you need this chair.. I want you to be comfortable.”

Jim just shrugs and say, “ I guess this is just how Julius sees her”

Okay.. he didn’t say that. 

Wanna make something out of it??

I’m tired. 

A happy tired. 

As always, this vacation is turning into a magical one.

Just ignore me when I’m cranky and I try to describe the first couple of days on Facebook.

I would if one of you were doing this much complaining.

You’re a bunch of Karens!