The sound of flushing

Broadway Break #3

(Tune to:  "The Sound of Music")

"Ode to a Bidet"

My day in the house

is starting to get..to me

is there a beach house

for someone to let..to me?

but deep in this warped brain's shadow

I KNOW there's no beach house today:(

I'm grateful to YOU, Rachel Maddow!

but I have found

I love the sound

of my new..bi-det!!

My bathroom's alive!

With the sound of spraying!

I don't have to drive

to retrieve T.P!

I know we'll survive

With dumb luck!..(and praying!)

I won't give a f*ck when I have..to..pee!

When one finger hits

I am spritzed and done

I am whis-tle..clean

I don't have a care

like a Charmin Bear

(and.......it's kind...of...fun!)

I don't buy the hype

(there's no NEED to wipe!)

as life just...goes..on..

and gee!..Lucky me!

who goes on the por-ce-lain john!

I go to the loo!

When I get the urge to..

there's no need to splurge..

at the TP store!

my ears are so blessed..

with the sound of flushing..

I'm crushing..

This chore!