Wax on wax off

This shit  just got way too real...I feel like the world has flipped off of its axis.  Nothing makes sense.

For the past 10 years or so, I have spent Fridays the same way:

My cleaning woman comes, I go for a waxing, and then grab a slice of pizza or two.

I SOOOOOooooo appreciate my housekeeper, and not because I'm too lazy to dust and vacuum.  Well..I AM..sort of..and I know some of you think I'm a spoiled, lazy, prima donna, which is...true..sorta...but my cleaning woman does an outstanding job, much better than I could ever do.

You could bounce coins off the sheets she pulls so tight; she makes glass doors shine.

And besides, we all love her and have always treated her with great affection and respect, giving her odd jobs whenever we can.

I was so happy to see her today that I wanted to kiss her!  And she works with so much disinfectant that I probably would have been fine and purified!

I take the short drive to my waxing place, and it's a ghost town.  The few people that are there are covered with masks.

I was told I could not get my lips waxed until further notice, and all I could think of is, "great..my corpse will be unidentifiable in two months because I'll have so much facial hair that a team of experts will not be able to accurately predict my gender."

I tried to go to two other places in the same strip mall, and nobody could strip those unwanted hairs.  And one is a European Wax House that specializes in this!

Fine, I thought..I'll wash my hands and grab a slice of pizza.

It  was thirty minutes before the usual lunch crowd and again, a ghost town. I asked if the TV channel could be changed from some boring sci-fi movie to the news.

The owner tells me they're going "media-free" and he could not put on the news.  I answer, "well..what about "The View?"  That's got another thirty minutes to go and he replies"and what do you think they'll be talking about today?"

So I sat there, trying to self-sooth and wondering if pizza crust was contagious. This place usually only shows Fox news anyway, although I recall watching Obama's inauguration here.

Customers started trickling in, discussing how every single local supermarket was out of chicken, meat, bread. toilet paper.

Someone said that there was still plenty of "ketchup" which made me feel better, since Ronald Reagan convinced me it is a legitimate vegetable.

I have my family, my dog, my Alexa, my bidet(s), canned soup, and unwanted bushy brows.

I better learn to count my blessings while I can.