A meatball named desire

Monday:

Now today…today was a great day despite the Uber driver from hell and the negligent housekeeping staff.

Our Uber driver is the fabulous Ashley who gave us a genuine Hollywood experience as she drove us to Santa Monica Pier, which I accidentally pronounced as  my former camper/camp reunion friend, Monica Paire.

Ashley had lots of gossip and juicy deets because her other job is unique and fascinating, especially four years ago, when it was her responsibility to show up on closed sets and private homes to administer Covid injections to celebrities.

In case you’re as nosy as me, Ashley disclosed that the most beautiful of all the celebrity homes she visited was Rihanna’s. 

The most personable and likable celebs she dealt with come from “Grey’s Anstomy”, especially Camilla Luddington ( Dr. Jo Wilson) and Caterina Scorsine. (Dr. Amelia Shepherd)

They actually look like they’d be nice, don’t they? 

And I had no idea  that they’re British and Canadian.

She adds that villains on reality shows are obnoxious in real life, like “Shake” from “Love is Blind” and Grandmom-burying Johnny FairPlay of “Survivor.”

Santa Monica Pier is honky tonk  and fun, with calm waves and beautiful mountains.  I wanted Jack Dawson to paint me like a French girl  for a dime since his artistic career started on this very pier, but who has dimes these days?

Evan posed in front of Bubba Gump Shrimp, wearing Gump’s shoes on his feet before freezing them in the unforgiving Pacific.

There were clowns blowing bubbles the size of condors and adventurous teens on skateboards and sunburned kids whining about how dizzying the merry go round is.

Oh wait.. that was me.

After hanging out at the pier, we ride to the Academy Museum and had lunch at Fanny’s where everything on the menu is movie themed.

I had a sandwich called “A Meatball Named Desire.”

This museum is fantastic, especially for film aficionados. 

We had the dumb luck to miss the highly recommended exhibit with John Waters by one day before it closed..

But we did see more costumes and diary notes and script revisions snd short films.

One room had an enormous table that took up the entire place. With tiles that contained academy awards trivia since the first Oscar was given out in 1927. The facts even included Will Smith’s notorious slap and Faye Dunaway’s embarrassing gaffe.

There was also a wall of videoed Oscar acceptance speeches. I was moved by Steven Spielberg with his long overdue award in 1993 as Best Director for “Schindler’s List” and I bawled like a baby when Halle Berry became the first (and sadly last) woman of color to win the coveted award for Best Actress in a Leading role. 

Probably the best thing we saw today was a film about Jewish contributions to the movie business. It was a very emotional and moving experience to learn the history.

Our last event cost extra for something called “The Oscar Experience “ and I thought I’d get to obnoxiously show off my trivia knowledge of all things related to important cinema.

Instead, the three of us posed in front of a podium, holding up a genuine gold statuette as we gave our acceptance speeches.

And no. I’m not sharing the video.

My hair looked like I been electrocuted, my T-shirt dripped with perspiration, and my Meatball Named Desire was having its way with my insides.

I was the opposite of red carpet ready.

I was the stuff of a nominee’s nightmare.

Jim and Evan are now returning from Dodgers Stadium, where they beat my hometown Phillies but Evan got to complete his bucket list.

Thanks to all of you who have stayed with this verbose and often nonsensical blog as we have an early morning flight back to New Jersey.

I would have thanked you in my acceptance speech had I been allowed to make one.