I told Jim that we needed to get back to the hotel in order for me to complete a daily blog, which meant we needed to be back an hour after we left , so I could complete a shortish entry by midnight, which obviously didn't happen.
Transcribing "War and Peace" in longhand on a yellow legal pad would be less time consuming than trying to complete a single paragraph, but I'm going to roll with the punches and thank everyone who shared a similar story with an equally hateful laptop and..
OMG!
Everyone was right!
It IS a fingertip issue!
I am painstakingly touching only the bottom corner of every keystroke, or hitting it with a pen,and the sentences are no longer jumping ship.
If I type negative ten words per minute, this entry should be finished by early next week.
And that's exactly what I'll do!
While everyone else is photographing breached whales, I will be typing like poor Stephen Hawking had to, so everyone had BETTER read the blog and leave flattering comments.
Our last day in Seattle was a great one!
It started with strangers coming on the elevator, and even 'though nobody ASKED, they offered that they were not going out to explore Seattle in their bathrobes, but going to an Indian-Pakistanian wedding.
This Aquarian loves aquariums, and Seattle's is one the best.
We saw fat slugs sunning themselves! (insert your own joke)
I heard a woman say, "in my next life, I want to come back as an otter" and I thought: "Me too..but one who gets beef tenderloin and a hot fudge sundae every now and then!"
We loved the Harbor Seals, but Jim was always doing something else, like fiddling on his phone every time they surfaced, inspiring him to joke that "yeah..those seals only surface when YOU'RE watching, just like the technical glitch only happens when I'M not watching"
And..guess the hell what???!!!
Jim researched "fat fingertips" (thank you AGAIN, Debra, Pam, and Lori!) and found that this is a REAL issue, not just one in my head, and..HE FIXED IT!!
He freaking fixed it!!
I can blog again!!
And not get carpal tunnel.
And actually vacation on my vacation!
People who enjoy my blog will be grateful to you ladies, those who don't will demand your home addresses.
There were two harbor seals in the tank, one named Finnegan and I forgot the other one's names, so let's just call him Finn-again? and they are best friends and both male, according to the staffer Nicole who gave us their back stories.
They coughed a lot, and sounded like Luke when he coughs, and when Nicole asked the audience if they had any questions, I have no idea why I took such a dark turn--I raised my hand and asked if they "ever got aggressive with each other."
She replied that they did, and when the fight, they make noises like they're gargling with mouthwash, and I wondered who exactly got a scientific research grant that would lead them to that assessment.
Nicole said Finnegan and Finn-again? had the potential to reach 600 pounds, and I giggled, until I realized I'm about to go on a cruise and have the same possibility.
Nicole moved onto the sea otters, stretched out on their backs and floating, and she said, (I swear this is true) "they love to use their fins to touch and pleasure themselves" and I was wondering if an otter would make the same observation about ME if he saw me with my Magic Wand when I first moved out of my parents' house.
I think the aquarium was my favorite thing about Seattle, unless you count the Strawberry Shortcake shake we shared on the observation deck after riding on the "Great Wheel" ferris wheel, giving tourists an exciting view of all of Seattle.
Our last stop was exploring the famous Pike Place Market, which for shoppers is Nirvana, but for cheap bitches like me who hate humidity and flocks of pigeons and walking up steps that even Rocky Balboa himself couldn't do, it was ..not Nirvana.
Seattle really is a vibrant, pulsating city that everyone Alaskan bound should visit first.
Me and my chubby fingertips will be back soon.
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