Victoria.. after dark..

And now..the end is near..it's time to face..the final..snark fest?

Next time you ride a city bus, late at night in the pitch dark,  go to the Wikipedia page and search "Victoria, British Columbia, Canada" and you'll pretty much have the same experience we just did.

I am neither ingrate nor bitch: I just know that this is how it is. 

 It's not Norwegian Encore's fault, it's not Canada's fault, it's not our guide's fault.

We docked late and tours were limited. 

Our guide told us a story about beloved runner Terry Fox, and pointed out the largest totem pole in British Columbia, and pointed out beautiful homes and apartments, all with floor to ceiling windows without shades or curtains, giving the entire town a feeling of an illuminated resort near the seaside.

He told us a funny story about his nephew, who stared at him all through Easter dinner, because his parents told him that his Uncle Rob could "drink like a fish" and the nephew might have wanted to witness that, but a busload of cranky seniors did not, especially after we saw the narrow winding roads that Rob had to maneuver.

He pointed out deer..lots of deer on the road, and the bus reacted in awe, as 'though nobody has seen one before, because we were all itching to see some kind of Canadian wildlife at this point, so the deer had no choice but to suffice.

He talked about "South Park", a famous school(not the TV show) and we passed a medical building called "Esteem Therapy" which everyone on this tour probably could have used at this point.

We rode by the elegant Empire Hotel, lit up like Epcot at night, for some photo ops.  The guide implied it was gorgeous inside, but we saw fellow passengers leaving the building and they warned us the only thing to see was  a bathroom.. a beautiful marble bathroom.

The guide told us to beware of cougars, and by that point, I would have rather had one photo bomb me than take a shot of a gold-plated faucet.

There was a weird moment when we tried to get a photo standing in front of the Epcot-at-night looking structure, but a guy on a bike kept ruining the shot.

If you ask me, it was on purpose, as he kept shouting that he was a "You Tube Major Influencer" who could be very important to us one day.

It almost happened too--the stranger taking our pic nearly  backed up onto the busy street in order to get a shot without the influencer in it, but he finally biked on, out of our way.

He might have shouted obscenities in Canadian.  We heard a lot of the word "about" pronounced "ah-boot. " 

That is not a stereotype--he really said "ah-boot."

A couple of minutes after we were warned that the only sight worth seeing on the tour was the elegant hotel's bathroom, the You Tuber aims right at us on his bike..and falls right into some thorny bushes. Fell off his bike and slammed hard into the hedges.

Jim thought it was done on purpose to get more followers,

I asked him if we needed to call a constable, even 'though I wasn't sure if there are constables in British Columbia, I just needed to see him get out of those bushes and not put on on You Tube without our permission.

Okay..it's late and I'm boring myself.

We arrive in Seattle at the crack of dawn, and once we get our luggage and our bearings, we'll taxi over to the hotel and meet Evan, who has explored the city today while we were warding off a social media influencer.

Jim and Evan will head out to watch the Seattle Mariners play the Cleveland Guardians, and I will..well, I want to say finally crack open my kindle, but that's a lie.

I will nap.

I will nap all day long to prepare myself for the 3:00 AM airport pickup on Monday.

Goodbye, Alaska and British Columbia and Seattle.

Hello New Jersey, you dull, pedestrian state!

Until the next trip..thanks for your comments and readership!