Weather gods and Dairy Queen - 1/23/2016

I'm warning you, weather gods, yes, YOU, you mother )%&&#$%^@#&$^@ weather gods.  (I do realize only Samuel L. Jackson can pull off that language and give it validity)  I'm just saying that if Moses could part the Red Sea and clear a path for his people(and mine) then you could and SHOULD part the snow and ice from a runway or two at JFK.  Because I swear to you, weather gods, I WILL be spending my 60th birthday wearing nothing but a swimsuit, sunscreen, and flip flops, even if it's atop a 40 foot snow drift in front of my frozen tundra of a suburban NJ home, eying snow street  plowers like they're hot sexy employees sweeping the beach.. I WILL be reading my KIndle poolside, even if it's in my own backyard staring at the frozen tarp covering my own pool. I know my late father meant well when he went to my late Aunt Minnie's beach house in Atlantic City that sunny April day in 1955, and convinced my late Mom that my brother Steven ought to have a sibling to enjoy all this beach and sunshine with. ..But that sibling turned out to be delivered by a frozen stork..in mother)%&&#$%@#&$ JANUARY!! C'mon, weather gods, would it kill ya to save your blizzards for Dairy Queen?