Did you "hear" the one about the Acropolis?

Greece is the word and the word is love, love, love, LOVE Greece so much that I want to marry it and give our baby a name nobody can pronounce or spell. (Like Debbie M., the first casualty of "The View" or Zach G., who was funny when he was in the first "Hangover" and still fat but I'm too pressed for time to check out how to spell their names, and Spell Check will probably screw it up anyway) Time to infuse some positivity into my negative blog(and don't worry about Jim's fun--he is FINE and a happy wife is a happy life!) but there was no heat stroke or unruly cowlick or crowds of smokers or mob scenes with peddlers today.  Only pure joy and beauty.  Let's now refer to my many notes before we get ready for "Name That Tune--TV Theme Song" where we SHOULD win something other than high lighters.  Where to begin? We took a thirty minute ride through the charming towns with picturesque views and I even had Jim as my seat mate. We arrive at the majestic Acropolis, which I am enjoying thoroughly...by avoiding an asthma attack and sitting on a marble bench and I couldn't be happier.  I scaled twenty marble steps to get to the bench..that was enough of an adventure. The guide Yanni was the best guide ever..he looked like Stanley Tucci and had the compassion of a Mother Teresa..he made sure I was comfortable and safe.  I am seeing the Acropolis like a blind person would, and I have my earphones plugged in so all I'm missing is potential cardiac arrest. I have to go off track a little, big surprise.  How is it possible that Royal Caribbean Cruise Line randomly paired the ship's and world's  biggest hypochondriac with a former cruise ship doctor?? Dr. Kevin was explaining what it's like to be an ER doc over cordon bleu last night. He has seen it all..missing limbs and brains shooting out of skulls and there's only one thing and body part that makes him gag..you guessed it..Feet! And mine look like bubble wrap because of that damn sea water..or possibly a bug bite or food allergy but I'm not bothering Dr. Kevin with that. Duncan and Hines were once again MIA..I can't hear them anyway but I do know they've never left the ship and have only been seen at two dinners to sip wine. Here's is my contrivance of the day as I apologize to my BFF who begged me not to ruin the blog with forced jokes, but here it goes.  Cruising is apparently no piece of cake for Duncan and Hines.  I really thought maybe Hines (aka "Elizabeth") heard about me following a lunatic with a floral shirt and almost missing Tuscany  but then again, maybe my insanity isn't even on her radar. OK..so the morning's journaling wasn't ideal, because flies were landing on me like I am made up of ninety-nine percent sugar.  There was a wrinkly Greek in a kiosk that was more or less my babysitter as Jim ascended the stairs of the Acropolis.  (Jim could do it in a parka while wearing stilts and carrying bowling bowls, the showoff ! ) Anyway, the wrinkly kiosk Greek didn't want me blocking her stand, so she politely ordered me to move down a bench and wouldn't you know it, she didn't sell a single ticket anyway.  So I move down a bench, where a couple of mangy stray dogs jump up right beside me.  A woman comes over to feed one of them and tells me there used to be eleven of them, and all but three died off.  I think she wanted money, of which I had none, or a watch, which I didn't have because I treat peddlers at the Vatican like a pit bull would.  But normally I give money to people who help helpless dogs. I would have offered her my journal but that wouldn't have helped the hungry strays.  OK..I have to do this in two parts if you want the full Greek experience.