There is a doctor in the house..

I have to admit for the first time in my life that I am totally jealous of acrobats.  They do things with hoops and scarves.  I can't use them properly when they're merely fashion accessories, but I'm mostly jealous because there's no way any of these jaw droppingly talented Russians and what have you's are going to have trouble getting into a thigh high bathtub.  My back was killing me (from bending over and unloading the suitcase..my goodness, it's not like I was hanging from a hula hoop) but I'm so glad we went to this wonderful evening show, where I was given a taste of Royal Caribbean Brilliance and I love what I sampled.  The Cruise Director is a female--from Ireland--named Chlo. (not Chloe, but at least her spelling beats Ms.Kardashian's)  She was so funny and personable and halfway through her intro quips:  "And all you men out there, you're only onboard because your wives made you come and made all the arrangements..you barely know what ship you're on."  The audience laughed, but I didn't laugh because he never got out of the kaka doody car..oops..wrong script..because it's just the opposite in this family.  Look, some wives have to learn to cook exotic dishes with stuff like saffron, or learn sexual positions that only a contortionist could master, but all I had to do was agree to go to Europe.  Jim has never denied me a book, a meal, or a movie..he let me live out a fantasy of sharing Woodloch with my family and all he ever asked in return was that I agree to come here.  So I am, and even with tubs as deep as newly dug graves, I am thoroughly enjoying myself. We met the two couples we'll be dining with.  I think there are supposed to be ten of us in all, but only half the table was full. We sit next to a couple who didn't want to say a single word to us. They are from Scotland, I think, but I couldn't hear them, and that could be because the restaurant was noisy or because I'm a little deaf or because they actually weren't answering my questions.  And I should know better than to ask personal questions after asking a woman earlier today how she liked Paris and then she tells me she was robbed.  I kept picturing a very awkward week, but the couple next to them, Kevin and Melinda..well..those guys were awesome.  We connected right away, but I found myself yelling across the table and trying to include the Scottish couple into a conversation that I don't think they wanted any parts of.  The Pittsburgh couple were right up our alley..she works for the Clinton campaign and he's a doctor.  Turns out he used to be a ship doctor, on Holland American Cruise Line. And he was telling us it was a tough job, every dinner was interrupted, and I asked him what was the worst thing that ever happened to a patient, and he told me he dealt with two heart attack victims,  I asked him how they recovered and he told me they didn't, they both died.  He went on to explain that ships have morgues and you're lucky if you don't die in international waters and blah blah blah, he lost me at "morgue." I guess I pretty much do have a case of OCD because I could concentrate on nothing else once he revealed that there might be dead people nearby.  He and Jim were bonding over sports --Jets fan versus a Steelers fan but I couldn't concentrate.  I did NOT want to be morbid but it's like saying I do NOT want to be five feet, two inches tall.  I am what I am, and what I am is someone who is equally repelled and fascinated by the fact that cruise ships have morgues. Tonight, in my dreams, I'm sure I'll see Dead  People.  But I'll wake up and be in the French Riviera, so I can't complain. But I will because I am me. Jim just reminded me that the Scottish guy's name is Duncan.  I'm guessing his wife is Hines.  Thanks again Christine Cherry Hommel for the chocolate dipped strawberries..and for planning this trip of a lifetime.