Waiter.. There's a fly on my ship..

Those "sensitive pipes" signs are everywhere now, insisting that nothing but minimal toilet paper and "human waste" may be flushed. So where does that leave vomit?  Or the hair you shave from your legs? Jim just attended a lecture on what to expect on your tour of Greece.  I expect to wait in the museum(for extra euros) while he climbs 200 steps that are crooked and have no railing.  I expect to stay in that museum for the rest of my natural life. The only way I'll be OK about dying in Greece is if the cause of death is happiness..which will happen if they film another sequel to "Before Midnight" here. I should be whining about heat and humidity but I am two feet away from the pool.  Jim wants to know why I'm so kvetchy about heat while walking up steep inclines in crumbling cities, but not while I'm in a bathing suit near a pool.  Anyone want to take this one? He is obsessing about his pictures of pictures and I'm thinking I'd settle for a tiny splash pool in the Acropolis. Today I met Gloria, a nurse from LA in the hot tub. She's treated some celebs, like Pia Zadora and "that guy who took an outdoor shower with Samantha in the first "Sex and the City" movie(I remembered Gilles Marinari, or something like that) and also, she treated "Angela Bassett's" husband.  I answered too quickly..I blurt out "Laurence Fishburne!" but then realized he was her movie husband, he was Ike to her Tina Turner and I corrected myself in a split second.  I offer, "Courtney B. Vance was brilliant as Johnnie Cochran!" and she answers, "I don't care how many Emmys it got..I wouldn't watch a TV series about that mother f*cking OJ Simpson!" Five Australian kids join us in the hot tub just after Gloria dropped an F-bomb. They thought I had a cute way of "talking American" but you should have heard THEM.  They were bright and outgoing and adorable and they only met on this trip. (Australian kids are on Spring break in case you tend to mix up your hemispheres) One of them, Ava I think, says she loves looking at statues and sculptures and is so glad she's ten because "things like that might have bored me when I was eight." I was afraid to tell her that at age sixty, I think like she did two years ago so to break the ice I made everyone tell me their names and ages which they did in precious Aussie accents. The tweens were Lily, Ava, Zane, (who is a precocious six year old who wanted to swim in the hot tub) Mikalya and Zoe. I told them I need their names because I like to write journals about my vacation adventures but Zoe begged me not to mention her name so don't tell her I did. The pool was so refreshing and for you people who read me regularly, this pool was made of salt water, and you know how..um..free I can be in ocean water, but I promise, I just used the pool for water exercise and swimming. And for the love of Poseidon, you should see the guys who just entered themselves in the Sexiest Man On Board contest. And I thought MY brain was fried from the heat! They strutted their stuff like they resurrected Michelangelo himself to sculpt their physiques.  I didn't concentrate on the contest because I don't pay attention and there is a morgue on the ship, but Jim paid attention.  He comes back and tells me the winner was this extroverted six year old named Zane..the one swimming in the hot tub just a few minutes earlier. I haven't seen Duncan and Hines since day one, because I think she freaked out about sharing a dining experience with some  weirdo who saw the most famous sculpture in Barcelona and assumed it was an obviously MALE sandcastle. I didn't see Hines, no I didn't, but I did see GORGEOUS sights as we sailed between Sicily and southern Italy.  I can't tell you which was which because I have dyslexia when it comes to direction.  Oh, guess what else I saw on the pool deck?  A FLY!! I asked myself, "did he board in Barcelona? Or was it in France? " Even if he got on as recently as Italy, he's never gonna see his family again.