A voice richer than Fort Knox

​South Carolina’s best kept secret since Lindsey Graham’s Grindr Profile and okay, I’ll stop. 

( with the recycled jokes)

Move over, Kimmel, there’s a new Hall Pass in town!

Every repeat customer on this American Cruise Line says the same thing. 

( besides, “  I can’t find my dentures”)

That the nightly entertainment here is superb, the best they’ve seen anywhere, and that observation  circulated widely  even before the appearance of last night’s Hall Pass.

His name is Douglas Ladnier and he is promoted as a singer with a voice that’s “ richer than Ft. Knox.”

He’s richer than that.

In certain lighting, he looks like Mel Gibson or Kris Kristofferson,  with the wit of David Letterman and the wardrobe of Elvis.

Who but this man could have one hundred one hundred year olds ditching their canes and walkers and rising up to his rousing rendition of “Twist and Shout” not once, but twice? 

They gyrated so much that they put down their canes, picked up their phones, and asked a twenty something staffer to help them make an  immediate appointment with their geriatric orthopedist.

Doug regaled us with hilarious stories, like how Juliet Mills ( Hayley’s sister) and her much younger bae, Maxwell Caulfield, fanned out during his concert in Ojai, California, and an ordinary busybody   kept trying to break up their conversation, but.. let’s put it this way, it wasn’t  the NANNY ( Juliet’s rule in “Nanny and the Professor “ ) who kept trying to alert the performer that his fly had been down the entire show.

He did Elvis, Josh Groban, Neil Diamond, Sinatra, and me in my fantasy.

Best of all: this Emmy winning, Tony  nominated 

( for “Jekyll and Hyde”) is coming back as tonight’s entertainment!

He’ll be telling us even more stories about Luna ,his dog, and his back of the neck tattoo that says “Made  in Japan” since he was conceived and born in Okinawa. 

And my excitement is palpable, because tonight, it’s  numbers from Phantom and South Pacific and Les Miz and Sweeney Todd and I’m going to sit in my chair and drown out every note with my own singing.

We googled him when we returned to our stateroom and found out he was Jafar at Disney.

We had just told him earlier about Jim’s cousin, Jonathan,  who originated that role in the  animated movie with Robin Williams,  and he seemed impressed, inferring that it’s a role he was born to play. 

I insulted him earlier  during the performance when I asked him if he were alive during the first appearance by the Beatles(on Ed Sullivan) and Jim said he could definitely see him as Jafar, implying he’s both old and evil.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 

Remember that name: Douglas Ladnier. 

(which I just had to scroll up to do.)