Welcome to Charleston!
Our final destination.
The penultimate blog.
Reality comes back tomorrow.
Reality bites.
Who could have predicted I’d have “bedroom eyes” at my age with these pre-cataracts?
Most days, my “bedroom eyes “ are filled with irritation as I awaken Jim from a deep slumber at three in the morning, demanding that he stops snoring, and he’ll invariably ask me a question like, “ WHAT did you just say about snoring?”
As if it could be anything OTHER than a command to STOP it.
It’s not like I was experiencing insomnia in the middle of the night because I couldn’t remember the medical name for or the spelling of “snoring.”
Let’s get back to the bedroom eyes I have for my Dougie, that rich velvety voice that could melt icebergs or the heart of Melania Trump.
( same difference)
Douglas Ladnier ( I don’t know him well enough to give him such a babyish moniker like Dougie. Doogie would be worse) doesn’t just sing; he sets your soul on fire, like you’re the only person in the room.
( and last night, we practically were)
His facial expressions, coordinated body movements, sexy gaze.. omg, he had the whole larger than life package!
After a few notes of his personalized rendition of “Gotta Lotta Livin’ to Do” you just wanna go out with a picket sign to protest the drafting of Conrad Birdie.
He’s a little bit of a tease before the first few notes of an upcoming number, and as soon as he hinted it was from “ Phantom” my eyes practically begged him to come through.
I mouthed “That’s All I Ask of You” and he nailed it, although Jim’s favorite was “Bring Him Home “ from “Les Miz” touching every veteran and neurotic New Jersey homemaker in that room .
I wish the entertainment staff at Woodloch would hire this angel!
I wish I were a baritone!
I wish I had the same friendship with Sally Struthers that he does, though I’m afraid she’d remember me when she appeared on “The Mike Douglas ( “ he said his name again!! But all I said was Conrad Birdie.. er.. Mike DOUGLAS!! )Show in 1973, and I followed her to her hotel to try and hand her an ambitious script I had written for “All in the Family “ which she wisely refused to take.
I was so ballsy and pushy in those days.
Glad I grew out of that phase.
Douglas is not only a greater singer, but he’s great at improvising comical moments.
Just ask Mr. “Ants-in-the-Pants” from last night’s audience.
Jim gave Douglas Ladnier my blog link on a cocktail napkin!
Which could get wet or lost, like it did when all those guys I met at college mixers never stayed in touch.
Between Douglas piercing my soul and then coming back to the stateroom to watch Noah Wylie on “The Pitt” I think my libido was having a better day than I was.
I’ll close my telling you two great Douglas stories, both revolved around the name Lucy.
Douglas’s favorite musical of all time is “Sweeney Todd” and he got the opportunity to play the titular role.
In one production, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street was supposed to slit the throat of his wife, Lucy, but someone on the stage crew messed up and forgot the prop knife.
So when the young character named Toby was supposed to kill Sweeney, he had to improvise.
And almost strangled him by hand on stage.
The other Lucy death was in “Jekyll and Hyde.”
After years of being a swing player ( meaning an understudy for every role) Douglas finally gets the change to play the benevolent doctor and his evil twin, but he got so nervous and so excited that his palms started to sweat, surprising the dead Lucy so much with his clammy wet touch that audiences members in the front row heard a CORPSE shriek!
After the show, I approached him about these two hilarious fiascos from both “Sweeney Todd” and “ Jekyll and Hyde” and said, with the straightest face,
“Hey Lucy killer.. you better never get cast as the lead of “ You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown!”
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