St Simons Say

​A guide named Theresa who reminded me of Kristen Chenoweth pointed out the beautiful homes and verdant golf courses of this wealthy paradise, frequented by the likes of John Travolta,but the problem is that she narrated mostly everything about Saint Simon’s Island from the comfort of the coach bus,so I now must ask:

Is napping contagious or is it me?

I did wake up in time for the first stop, a beautiful church still standing with its original wood, with the intoxicating scent of fresh lilacs, lavender, and especially the lilies. 

She pointed out the pews that once sat the butts of  Calvin Coolidge, Woodrow Wilson, George Bush, and Jimmy Carter, and while everyone else was in awe, blasphemous me, on Easter Sunday yet, prayed not for healing or for our country, but that I make it to the final step on “Wheel of Fortune “, the one that actually gets me on the air.

Theresa/Kristen pointed out the significance of the magnificent stained glass before we walked outside to see the burial grounds of the  Island’s  most famous residents, married first cousins named Anson and Ellen Dodge. 

Theresa/Kristen told us about a Yankee on her tour from Albany, a few weeks ago, who smugly asked, “ aren’t all Georgians first cousins?”

( he’s not making it to air for WOF either)

I’m sitting on bench, looking at the Atlantic, enjoying the breeze while Jim spent eight dollars on a magnet, just to get enough change to tip the driver. 

The lighthouse was nice( but not compared to what we’ve seen in Maine) and I like the idea that the Sea Island (St Simons) golf course is where the last tournament of the PGA season played  every November. 

I liked seeing the graves of the incestuous cousins  and I liked how we were told about the military significance of putting coins on graves. She pointed out that this is done in Jewish cemeteries, but with stones, and nobody but us knew what the hell she was talking about until she mentioned Schindler’s List. 

This was a nice, relaxing excursion. Nobody witnessed the razor sharp teeth of a marine animal ( because nobody on this bus still has original teeth) but I’m glad we signed up.

Stay tuned…