We were delayed four hours and I am tired and cranky and guilty..guilty because there is so much I didn't share in my travel journal so that trumps sleep and nutrition and TV..For example, I never shared the evil looks I'd get daily from the chambermaid who had to replace the plastic bags in the bathroom dispenser daily, because you could just tell she was looking at me and thinking "dis seniorita..she no need to wrap the feminine hygiene projects at HER age, nu?" The truth is I'd collect those bags for the fruit I'd feed the iguanas, but the problem is we didn't go to the center of the resort and their path until noon every day, which meant the fruit got hot in the sun and melted, which meant it probably fermented and I got some iguanas drunk enough where they contemplated propositioning married businessmen from Indianapolis. Oh, and this..this I'll share as delicately as I can, but if you build a bathroom in MEXICO, where the cuisine is MEXICAN, you'd better make sure you NEVER run out of TP..or at least mark one of the stall doors "Duty Free"..because a..um..friend of mine was up the creek if you get my drift. And just my luck...er.. MY FRIEND'S luck....who is the only other person in that bathroom at the time but that smug little tween from the hotel next door. "Brag about your foam pools and your beach parties and buffets all you want. Sure, our hotel makes you cook your own meals and the activities are time share pitches and bingo, but at least the WESTIN never runs out of toilet paper!" And news to brighten the night of Andrea Miller Seitchik..unless there's a heavy current bound toward the Jersey shore this summer, those turquoise flip flops are gone! Adios! Let's have a party! Some guy on the return flight asked the attendant if anyone had a couple of empty vegetable tin cans and string because he wanted to communicate with his wife several rows ahead. I was so travel weary and delusional by that point that I'm pretty sure I saw an old lady in a "Tequilla Mama!" tee open a floral beach bag and say"One moment dear..let me have a look." This same guy
was rudely remarking that it seemed to him that many more people needed seat belt extenders on the departure flight that they did upon arriving. Oh..and my suitcase LOST three pounds going home..ditto for me! Out of all the images that are staying with me, I can't seem to forget that frenchman being pelted with white fish, and my attempt to paddle over to him to over help, and Jim reminding me how bad I am in a crisis, and that this poor schmuck really didn't need to know that I know the french word for meringue is meringue and that my dog is Luke. ("Why should the Frenchman who was nearly pelted to death care about a dog that you yourself don't care about?") But that's just one memory..the journal captured many! I'm thinking next trip I should just post pics of views from my balcony, but I'm afraid they'll all be eyeball shots. Anyway, for those of you who stayed with me...thanks! You made recapping fun!
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