If you are not wearing an adult-sized Depends while you read tonight's entry, you cannot blame me because I am giving you AMPLE warning...The night ended spectacularly..a poolside circus show that rivaled Cirque du Soleil complete with gorgeous music and gentle breezes.Oh, and I literally got to do my Happy Dance as they finally played "Hands Up!"..OK..time to get ready to involuntarily lose some bodily fluid...We're sitting at tonight's dinner with the theme of "Gala" and I'm glowing from my sunburned skin and my sequined top.A very great looking GO asked to join us. We had seen him a few night's before, singing and dancing in a costume with more sequins than my shirt doing a perfect "Bohemian Rhapsody." Conclusions may now be drawn. So we're exchanging pleasantries, and he tells us he's from Mexico City. I cannot tell you his name in case this journal falls into the wrong hands, but suffice to say there is a very famous song by "Abba" with this same name. So he's telling us about the beautiful seder he conducted for guests last week, and the Shabbat dinners he often oversees for Jewish guests. He went on to say that his parents are coming from Mexico City tomorrow but they're staying at the Mariott Cancun which offers full Chabad services. Club Med uses them as well..good to know for when I win the lottery and bring all my kosher friends and family here. And then he tells us about his other tribe, if you get my drift, and if you don't, scroll up to the Freddie Mercury paragraph. I swear, I never in my life wanted alcohol as much as I did tonight, because I was laughing so hard that I was in the intense pain that only a good bottle of wine could cure. You know when someone starts a conversation with"I shouldn't be telling this story to someone I just met" and/or "oh, the stories I can tell you!" that it's going to be good..good and shocking for simple New Jerseyites like us. He tells us about all the male guests who have hit on him, and I offer: "Oh..when you worked at the adult Club Meds for singles and couples?" and he replies: "No, right here in Cancun!" A FAMILY resort! Where the Mini Club parades around in cat face and Barney cosatumes! So he tells us "just one" of his many stories that went something like this:
The Dad: So nice to meet you, (Abba Song)
Abba Song: Oh, it's been my pleasure..
The Dad: You know..my wife tends to turn in very early...
Abba Song: That's right! YOUR WIFE!! And you have two small kids!! Who paint whiskers on their faces!
The Dad: Listen, Abba Song, I am on VACATION!
So Abba tells us about that amazing night, sparing TMI, and then the next day, THIS happens:
The Mom: Hey Abba Song, you were amazing in the show last night! You sounded just like Freddie Mercury!"
Abba Song: Oh, thanks!
The Mom: We all just love you..you are our favorite staff member and we want you to join us and the kids for dinner tonight.
So Abba Song tells us he's shitting bricks by then but what choice did he have but to make the best of it? So the kids and Mom and Dad have a nice buffet dinner and normal conversation ensued until The Dad dropped the kids off to the mini club which was showing "Finding Nemo"
The Mom: I KNOW what happened between you and my husband last night..
Abba Song(contemplating jumping off of the trapeze without a net) Oh..um..I am so sorry!! Please forgive me! That never happened before!! I had a little too much to drink.."
The Mom: Oh, it's OK..I was just pissed that you didn't invite me to join you!
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