Pillow Hawk..: 10/26/2015

I miss my Cancun iguanas! The only animals I've encoutered here are around the swim-up bar, drinking and smoking at 10:00 AM. And missing out on all my free iguana food. OK..to get my inner Jim Gaffigan on, whom my husband compares me to because we're both cynical foodies(except Gaffigan seems less goyish than me) what's the deal with room service? I got corn flakes with warm milk. Jim got oatmeal that he was awaiting like the second coming of Christ. "Hangry" Jim is no picnic, so remind me not to get room service as late as 8:40, especially when the coffee maker is in the shop. We get cornflakes and oat meal. Also, a bowl of ketchup and marmalade, but not mixed together, although I'll bet that would make a good glaze for chicken. Very odd room service.  Odder choices. The butler just asked if I needed anything, and I say, "I dreamt Ethan Hawke was in the six foot deep hot tub and invited me to join him.  Make it happen, Stanley!" (or was he Livingstone?) Oh, I forgot to mention that last night's butler handed me what folks around here call a"pillow menu" which had more choices than the continental breakfast. I could order a custom pillow off the menu, and when he asked if I had questions I answer: "Do any of your pillows have MSG or non-fructous corn syrup?" because isn't that what you're supposed to ask when someone wants to know if you have questions about the menu?