It's raining, and it rained a little yesterday, and it'll probably rain tomorrow.
Remind me when I log on next to tell you about a friend of a friend of a friend who had difficulty returning tea towels to Target.
Now do you believe me??? I cannot and will not do small talk.
Today we had a great breakfast with the husbands from North Carolina, and within seconds we knew it was OK to discuss the taboo subject of politics. We laughed a lot..and shared mutual fears.
We then boarded the coach bus to take us on a brief ride to the pier, where the Smith brothers would take us on a scenic boat tour.
We heard all the legends and myths and fairytales and we were shown every "face" that was hidden in every mountain and its spiritual meaning.
I'm too ADD for most of this but this message is pretty much reiterated daily:
Here's all you need to know about Hawaii:
Sugar is out, coffee and golf courses are in.
We're treated to wonderful native entertainment as we board..ladies with flowers in their hair who'd sway and sing while surrounded by men and their instruments.
I watched the hula demonstration, where we we had to pretend we were catching a fish, cleaning a barrel with our arms akimbo, and praying to weather gods.
I tried to participate..I wanted to be Ginger or at least a Maryann, but I quit after only a few moves.
I wouldn't be upset if anyone labeled me Sciati-Ka-ren.
But I had fun watching everyone else do what was essentially th hokey-pokey, but with more vowels and ukes.
We visited a shallow cave and a fern grotto. (I'm pretty sure they're the same thing, but if I can't understand my notes, then you shouldn't be expected to either)
Something about a nudist colony, something about the Coco Palms, something about..oh, who the hell can remember?
The grotto was pretty, I'll give you that, and it looked like the offspring of Rain Forest Cafe and the "Land" exhibit in EPCOT.
People were yelling out how many years they've been married and the organizers tried to interpret every kiss and hug, but I'm just way too cynical for this.
I know I sound like I'm complaining but that's just who I am..it really was a perfectly lovely excursion.
Oh man, are the birds here aggressive! They're beyond angry, especially the chickens and roosters. We stop for a burger in a nice area by the pool, and one of them actually stared at us while we placed our ORDER. There wasn't a scrap of food on the table yet!
I should have directed them to wait for the pasta and shrimp lady..there's bound to be many leftovers from her for them to enjoy.
This one particularly obnoxious bird had zero interest in leaving..he was perched on a chair at our table until I almost killed him with a laminated menu.
You're not allowed to shoot chickens, but nobody said anything about maiming them with the Tuesday Specials card.
We made small talk with our group members for a good hour, and by the time we put on bathing suits and walked to the pool, the rains came with a vengeance.
Jim tried to walk to the "ocean" with his snorkel to find fish, but instead he found a deserted beach. I'm glad he thought twice about going in anyway..I didn't want him to become shark bait.
While he was scouting out safe ocean sites, I went into the hot tub, where a bunch of twenty year olds with heavy tattoos were talking about heavy machinery.
It was a sad futuristic scenario indeed: Jim dodging a barracuda and me deliberately drowning myself in a hot tub so I didn't have to hear another word about operating a crane.
Oh, and to make matters worse, the jacuzzi was filled with tiny bubbles.
If I couldn't get Don Ho out of my head BEFORE, I certainly wasn't going to NOW.
(He's played a lot around here..ditto for the guy with the uke who liked to strum along to "Over the Rainbow" before he died)
Tonight we have a luau on a plantation.
In case I'm too tired to blog later on, which is likely, I'll say aloha..
..See you in Maui!
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