Battle of Vick’s-vapor-rub-burg

Comedienne Julia Scotti challenged her fans to write a civil war song. Tuned to Battle hymn of the republic.

Let me volunteer to pen a song..a song for lunatics/

it is not too hard to sing along/

..so grab a jar of Vicks/

and be sure to rub it everywhere/

and make sure that it sticks/

let it appeal to hicks/

Glory, glory Hallellujah!/

Here's the story for you, Julia!/

don't let all this folly fool ya/

we need to gather facts/

We must try to keep our calm/

let's join a patriotic club/

where the MAGA hats are plentiful/

and so's the Vapor Rub/

may we honor White Supremacists... serve good ole country grub/

to every foolish zhlub!/

Glory,glory, Hallellujah!/

Here's the story for you, Julia!/

don't let all this folly fool ya'/

we need to gather facts/

let us take a moment now  for those we lost in Bowling Green/

It was really quite the tragedy/ 

the worst we've ever seen/

Frederick Douglass planned the massacre/

Fox News was on the scene/and I'm the effin' Queen/

Glory, glory Hallellujah!/

Here's the story for you, Julia!/

don't let all this folly fool ya/

we need to gather facts