Hypochondria!

Broadway Break #10

Tune to:  "Oklahoma!"

Oh!..I'm gonna

lose my mind in just a day..(or three!)

gonna dial 'em..

(Asylums!) then..

I'll see who has a bed..for..me!!

Oh! I'm losing it

if any-bo-dy needs some proof:

Check my toes!! (They're CLAWS!)

..and that's because

my frustration's going through the roof!!

I know I ..should join friends on "Zoom"

I'll attend when..I'm prop-er-ly groomed!

For now.."straw" hangs...yikes!

They used to be my bangs! ..yikes!

I'm only sayin'

my scalp is actually itchin'

must condition!  Oy vey!

**********

Oh!..I'm tryin'

but I'm cryin' 'cause of facial hair

Yeah, I look like sh*t

Like Cousin Itt

and I hate those burns I get with NAIR!

Oh!..I must confess..

that yes-ter-day..I SHAVED my lip..

Like I took an axe!

'cause there's no wax...

and I took a freakin' ego trip!!

They say that.. one NEVER.. should shave..

But I'd dared to be clever and brave???

Hairs will grow back..(yuck!)

But this time..COARSE and BLACK! (F*uck!!!)

I'm only sayin'

I wish I wasn't so crazy..or so lazy..these days!

**********

Oh!...I'm "Karenoid"

with symptoms..most are kinda vague

is it allergies?  Each time I sneeze?

Or am I the victim of this plague??

Hy..po-chondria!

Should be my legal..middle name!

I believe..I fear!

(no fever's here!)

But I'm "symptomatic" just the same!!

I wish that my brain would shut off..

with each dull pain..and with... ticklish coughs..

I'm actually FINE!!! (YES!!)

There's no reason to whine..guess..

I'm only sayin'

I'm ready now for a pedi..

or some help with..this line!:)